Frustrated with the lack of control

Hey everyone. I am two days sober and feeling really bad about myself so I just wanted to post a small rant.

What frustrates me about my relapses is that even though I know better, I don’t even bother putting up a fight when I’m at the store with a drink in hand ready to do it all over again. By that point I’m trying to justify my decision by saying it’ll be just one. But it never ends that way and I still haven’t learned to even hold myself accountable