Deal with the OCD first.

Feel free to remove, if this ends up being more harmful than not. I just had the thought and felt like it pulled me out of my own thoughtloop after reading some posts. I'm hoping this thought can also help other people.

You know you have OCD and you know your OCD will not shut up until you have found a solution. You know that OCD isn't letting you think about things rationally. With your OCD in full gear you WON'T find any solutions, it's a scam, an empty promise. And your brain will lie to you every time: "Just go over this one more time and we'll be fine!" But you know that won't happen. It is never the "last time". Not for very long at least.

So it's no use agonising over your problem now, whatever it is, however bad it might be. What's done is done, you can't change it anyway. "My case is different and really bad though". No it's not. Your OCD is telling you it is, but at the core it's all just the same OCD patterns.

Focus on getting the thoughts and compulsions under control first. You won't be able to make any meaningful progress with it otherwise. It will take time and it won't be easy. It will feel like the thoughts are unbearably loud at times. It might even try and guilt trip you into engaging with the thoughts. But you need to stay resilient, it will get easier with time.

The memory of the event/s will still be there, if you still need to work through it afterwards - in a healthy, productive manner. Not with OCD yelling at you the entire time.

It doesn't need immediate fixing (it doesn't need fixing at all in most cases). Focus on your day to day and work on shutting down the OCD thoughts before you can focus on the issue it wants you to solve. And you might find then, that your issue wasn't even that concerning to begin with. It was the OCD that was the problem.

No matter what thoughts and memories might be plaguing you, no matter how awful or shameful they might be: you deserve to be happy and you deserve compassion. You are more than your past and your OCD.

This might be a very simple thought to have and might have been said before, but it saved me for today and I hope it can help others as well ♡

(Please forgive any typos that might have slipped by)