Let's talk Story Structure. I think I found the fix.

When I was in High School I heard Spielberg was making Jurassic Park. I devoured the novel and every bit of info I could find about the making of the movie, which back then was more than you would expect. Studios were much more forthcoming about behind-the-scenes stuff then, there was less pre-release secrecy. I saw the movie at midnight the day it came out and was in such a euphoric high leaving the theater that I forgot to turn my car headlights on.

Every franchise feature since then has been some version of disappointing. There are some that I liked O.K. (Jurassic World) and others I despise and resent for various reasons (JP:The Lost World, JW:Dominion) And then the ones in the middle that I don't hate but feel are burdened with a long list of missed opportunities or a misunderstanding of what Jurassic Park MEANS at a DNA level (JPIII, JW:Fallen Kingdom).

All that to say, JW:Rebirth is a fun theme park ride and I enjoyed the experience of seeing it in the theater. It's firmly in the middle camp of liking O.K. but being frustrated with its missed opportunities. At its heart it is a deeply, deeply flawed movie from an academic "story structure" and character building perspective that misunderstands the core DNA of Jurassic Park.

I could go on and on but here's a very short version of what I see as some key problems:(Spoilers, obviously)If either Zora or Loomis didn't go to the island nothing structurally changes. Loomis could have handed Zora the darts in the museum like Dodgson handing Nedry the shaving cream can. "Shoot within 10 meters. Have fun!" Literally nothing else that happened would be different. If you remove him from the movie the outcome would be exactly the same.

At the same time, if Loomis went without Zora he still would have had Duncan protecting him and could have safely made his way across the island. She's a babysitter, not a plot driver. And certainly not a fully fleshed character.

In academic story structure you look at the climactic action/choice and you should be able to identify both who the protagonist is AND what the theme of the movie is. The climactic action is the MAIN THING the character does to save the day. And when things are really firing on all cylinders the climactic action/choice resolves both the protagonists internal conflict and external conflicts at the same time AND CHANGES THE ENDING. The most famous example of this is Luke destroying the Death Star in A New Hope. He uses the force (internal conflict) and destroys the Death Star (external conflict) in one action, AND it tells us the theme of the whole film (Hope and faith are needed to destroy the darkness.)

Now, to be fair, the JP world has always been soft on its climactic actions, going all the way back to the OG. Dr. Alan Grant is the obvious protag of JP, but he doesn't actually take a climactic action. His internal conflict is that he's emotionally closed off and is especially hostile to the chaos of children. He's forced to protect two kids across a dangerous dino-infested island. But he's changed in the process. And if he hadn't safely ushered them, Lex wouldn't have been alive to "know Unix" and restore the communication systems. Then they're saved by a T-Rex ex-machina attacking the raptors, but it works because it's so spectacularly unhinged and visually specific-They destroy the T-rex skeleton and the "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth" banner floats to the ground as the T-Rex roars. It's probably the best Deus Ex-Machine dramatic resolution ever.

So, back to climactic action/choice... there isn't one in JW:Rebirth. Loomis and Zora, as the supposed co-protagonists, don't do anything of meaning to achieve victory in the final Distortus Rex battle. The closest thing to a climactic action is poor Duncan's recreation of Ian Malcom's flare dance. Then Rueben gets the boat started (the rubber boat that's been hanging in the sun for 17 years whose gas has miraculously stayed viable...) and we're off!

They MASSIVELY overestimated how much I would care about Duncan's apparent self sacrifice. I could not have cared less about Duncan or what he did or didn't do. The slow-down of time, the mawkish music.... the whole scene was ridiculous and unearned for a character who was barely a character. Worse, it stole any chance of significance from the protagonists, who just stand there and watch it happen rather than making a climactic choice.

Remember how we said the climactic action reveals the theme of a film? Where does that leave us? Something vague about protecting the future at all costs maybe? They talk about evil corporations vs. open source healthcare but that doesn't play into the actual action of the story or the character's choices, so it is not a structural theme, just some tagged on dialogue to make you think the movie was saying something. For a movie to REALLY say something, though, the theme has to be baked into the conflicts and choices of the characters-such as Luke turning off the targeting computer and using the force. Alan Grant protecting Lex and Tim at great personal risk and despite his dislike of children. Healthcare shouldn't be locked up by corporations? That’s not a theme. It’s a press release.

Speaking of Tim and Lex, if you take Isabella (and the rest of her family) out, nothing changes. Unlike Tim and Lex, Isabella is not a thematic vessel that carries meaning. forcing change in the protagonist(s). She has no narrative consequence except for opening the gate and prompting Duncan to go on his suicide flare mission (which, as we've established, is pretty meaningless.)

The most interesting, thematic thing that happens in the whole movie is the prologue... Dr. Scientist lets his Snickers wrapper drop (I call it the Snickers Wrapper of Death, or SWOD. Pure Chaos Theory in action.) and dooms them all. Then Lady Dr. Scientist (Desanto) won't let him out. They are vague on the abandonment of the facility and other casualties but it feels like we can assume that, per Ian Malcom, there was "running and screaming" involved.

OK I could go on a while about the cinema sins of the movie, I’ll stop there. It’s a hot mess. Here's my primary proposal of how to 'fix' the story: How to give it a theme, make Zora and Loomis matter, and tie it into the greater DNA of the franchise.

Lady Dr. Scientist Desanto (from the prologue) stayed on the island. In my version, Isabella’s sister and the awful boyfriend die in the Mosasaurus attack. Now we have stakes because we’re not just killing Tattooed Sailor #2. There’s no TELLING who might die! Sister and awful boyfriend were narrative dead weight on the whole movie. In this version Isabella is the one that Krebs lets fall (making him an even worse villain).

Around the midpoint of the film, Rueben and Isabella are making their way across the island and discover Desanto when she helps them escape from the T-rex. She was Dr. Henry Wu’s protege. She worked closely with him. But while Dr. Wu abandoned his creations, Desanto could not. When they evacuated the facility, she stayed behind. She felt loyalty, responsibility, for what she created. And love. And she refused to leave. During a fireside chat in the jungle with Rueben, Desanto describes what happened the day the facility was evacuated. How many people died. How many FRIENDS died. She teaches Isabella about what kind of dino Dolores is and how to take care of her. And that she’s actually a he. When the two groups rejoin at the facility, Desanto learns about the briefcase of blood (and egg goo) and freaks out. She has always seemed a little ‘off’ — she HAS been alone in a jungle with dinos for 17 years, after all — but now she goes full tilt. She believes they are going to clone the mutated dinos and will not allow them to leave. She first takes the briefcase. Loomis tries to talk Doctor Scientist to Doctor Scientist. He has a breakthrough with her, it seems. She agrees to let them have the case, and agrees to come home with them. But then Krebs tries to kill Desanto. Zora kills Krebs in the scuffle. Distortus Rex attacks. Helicopter goes down. Group gets split up, some into tunnels, some with Desanto. They have to get off the island. Desanto has kept the facility’s mini refinery running. They load fresh gas onto the jeep. Desanto takes them to the dock. At the dock, the group reunites. Distortus rex appears. Attacks jeep, gas explosion, but good news they got some of the gas onto the boat already. Distortus bears down on them on the dock. Desanto decides she’s not leaving, uses the flares to draw off the Distortus.* We follow her for a beat but her fate is uncertain. The Distortus comes back just as the boat leaves.

(*AN alternative here… if you want to center Zora more meaningfully she could be the one to do the flares, but if so it’s better that she not come back the way Duncan did. That made his awful sacrifice scene even less meaningful, which was quite a feat. If the studio insists she survive maybe she’s damaged in some way.)I think there’s probably a stronger ending to the Distortus climax than it narrowly missing the boat as it drives away, but at least in this version we’re not starting the boat on 17 year old gas. Desanto could have been maintaining the boat (and Jeep) all this time.

So what does all this get us?
It gets us a character directly connected to the themes and story of InGen and the original park. Someone who has a personal perspective on what all of it means and what all of it has cost. Someone who stays when everyone else runs.

It gets us a climax with a character who has something at stake beyond just “I lost my kid so I don’t want this kid to die”

It gives Zora and Loomis choices and actions in the climax and has them do things that change the outcome.

It draws Rueben and Isabella into the story in a more meaningful way, as they are the first to connect with Desanto.

Most importantly, it gives us a THEME related to the action- What is the moral obligation of a creator to the life they’ve made? Or even more broadly, as it could pertain to Loomis, Zora, Krebs, Reuben: What is our responsibility regarding the messes we have made?

Anyway, if you’re still here after all that, thanks for listening to my rant. I’m glad the movie is doing well. I think a lot of the positive reception is just “At least it’s better than Dominion” which was an unfixably awful story. Rebirth has the bones and dances around some actual ideas, but it ends up being The Force Awakens of the Jurassic franchise: Stringing together callbacks and echoes to better scenes from better movies to make us feel like we’re watching something new. 

At least TFA set up a new conflict with new heroes and villains that we wanted to follow through the new trilogy. JW:Rebirth doesn’t really establish anything to build on for future installments. If they try to make more movies they’re going to have to “Rebirth” all over again.