19 and missing out on life

I had a medical condition that made sex basically impossible and only knew it was an issue at age 17 (I’m 19 now) because nobody ever told me what was normal and not sex wise. Now I’m 19 and experiencing different penile issues and have only had sex once because of this and my shit bled while trying to put it in. I hate my life. Why the fuck couldn’t I just be born with a normal functioning dick like everyone else for fucks sake. All possible experiences I’ve had to just ignore or reject because of this shit. I underwent surgery and all it did was remove some sensation. I’m so upset bro.