Marijuana use in analysis

Hey guys, so I recently started Jungian analysis. I’ve had 8 sessions thus far. My appointments are at 5:30pm. I am a daily user of marijuana. If I leave my home and go on a trip or a holiday it is easy for me to not smoke weed. I don’t have major withdrawals or anything. However, when I am home it is very difficult not to smoke if I don’t have anything pressing to take care of.

Anyway, the day of my eighth session I smoked weed in the morning. I was having a rough day, which is no excuse, so I smoked without thinking about my appointment with my analyst. During the analysis my psychotherapist asked if I was high right now ? I said “maybe a little.” It does affect me for most the day.

This was apparently a breach of contract. I didn’t remember agreeing to not coming to sessions under the influence of anything. That is totally my fault. I will not be smoking the day of my sessions anymore. I have been trying to stop. However, he said “perhaps psyche made you forget” As in, psyche wanted to bring the elephant in the room into the actual room. Elephant being my addiction to pot. He seems to think drug use can affect the work we are doing.

I want to stop pot. But my ego is struggling with a double standard I can’t quite make heads or tails of. I will bring it up in my next session but am curious about second opinions.

Why would my analyst refuse to see someone under the influence of pot because it “affects the work” we are doing but they will see someone under the influence of Xanax, klonopin or an ssri? I have had prescriptions of all of those and they messed with my connection with ‘Self’ or ‘psyche’ immensely. So I stopped. Why if I self medicate would that be morally reprehensible yet when we get a drug from the proper authorities and are on it all the time that’s okay? Is it not an appeal to authority to simply accept these pharmaceuticals?

Also, if we believe in ‘psyche’ as some kind of guiding principle. You think psyche has morals regarding drug use ? Do you think if someone is smoking weed she will say, “nope fuck that! I hate weed.” That’s reductive but hopefully I’m making my point.

In my opinion “the work” like the alchemical work is always happening at all levels. It never stops. It is always in process, no matter what drugs you may or may not be doing. The idea behind alchemy is the constant building up then destroying then building up again. This process is happening with my drug use. It has become softer and softer and I’ve let go more and more. I have drank in 2 years or smoked cigarettes. It’s a process. Weed is the last hurtle.

Sorry for this confusing rant but hopefully it sparks some kind of discussion.

Thanks all.