I Hope This Message Reaches You Somehow

I hope you see this. You and I were so close once. We met on Grindr so many years ago now, and somehow we reconnected on my old Facebook account. You were my closest friend throughout the last several years. You would let me vent about my frustrations with my relationship, and I would sit with you on video-chat, listening to you and provided my counsel for all you had to say about religion, about politics. I wrote to the court about your character for the case you were dealing with, and I hope it turned out alright for you in the end. You stuck by me through the worst parts of my addiction, and you tried your best to help me get clean. Last we spoke I had dropped out of college, I was trying for a degree to become a therapist, and you were still in Washington, going to college to become a lawyer, I hope you're studies have gone well.

One day, all of a sudden it was like you just disappeared. I can't and don't blame you if you don't want to stay friends with me. I know you hoped for more than just friendship. You were searching for a life partner, and I sent mixed signals. I want you to know it wasn't because I didn't wish to be close with you. I just wasn't ready to admit to myself the kinds of abuse I was enduring. I hope you're able to eat better now, I know when we last spoke you were having a hard time keeping anything down long enough to retain the nutrients.

I think that much information should be enough to remove anyone confused, and thinking that this message is for them.

If you're out there in reddit-land and wish we could reconnect - send me a chat message here. I miss our long talks, and there's so much I want to update you on regarding my life over the last several months.