Wearing hijab!!

Hello guys,as a Moroccan muslim I grew up in a strict household but not too strict about religion as long as u don’t do haram things like (zina,drinking alcohol ,missing my prayers…)u’re good ,but growing up I just knew 7 years ago that hijab is a obligatory I tried to accept it I really did,I wore it for 4 times and took it off and I still hate it so much I always wear modest clothes nothing revealing but I just can’t accept wearing hijab despite I lose my confidence wearing it,I also hate the fact that hijabis get always judged for everything and men who think it’s easy and why we’re making it a big deal well it’s not the same for everyone,don’t get me wrong I love my religion and I admire hijabis so much but I really hate hijab I wish it was a choice and also lately I’am thinking about continuing my studies aboard and wearing hijab doesn’t seem a good idea in a foreign non islamic country (I hope it reaches the right audience).