Finally Speaking Out

Hi, I am a 28M and finally have had enough. This is technically day zero for me and I don’t know what else to do but just to speak out to help myself heal and it seems like this amazing community supports this.

I was always the definition of a chronic overachiever and have lived my entire life doing things that way. I succeeded in school and always let my external accomplishments dictate my self-worth and validate the “why” behind actions I took.

Fast forward through college and into adulthood and moving from my home state to New York City. Here, things spiraled. I succeed at work and then the drinking culture of manhattan took over. I realize now — finally, albeit — that no one is coming to save me. I haven’t spent a week sober since 2019 and I was constantly looking for external signs or a reason why to do this.

Now, I realize that I am the keeper of my own choices and actions and I control my life. Not what I “think” others would want me to do.

This is turning into nothing but a rant but I’m scared, tired, and behind the 8ball financially from where I want to be despite all the external signs that everything is “ok” with me.

It’s nice to meet you all and I hope everyone accomplishes their goals :-).