Afterglow (Haasha Escapade 18)

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For Lynn and Susan, this had been their first and only trip to the moon. I’d like to say they were the only ones choked up with emotion as we lifted off, but even Jarl had a tear roll down his cheek. With our final clean-up complete, the TEV Ursa Minor’s first exploration mission was officially complete. It was time to head home, celebrate our accomplishment, and then look forward to wherever our path would take us next.

Upon return to the ship, we were a bit surprised to find Captain Victor there to greet us.

“I’d ask why a 4-hour mission took nearly six, but if you told me I’d likely have to do something about it,” he grumbled while we all just tried to look as innocent as possible.

“Susan, Auggie. We need to finish up the awards. Everybody else, dismissed,” he said with practiced authority and the rest of us took the opportunity to skedaddle before any awkward questions could be asked about how our trip went. 

The crew was in designated downtime, but that didn’t mean the ship wasn’t buzzing with activity. The captain had declared there would be an awards ceremony followed by a post-exploration party, so everyone was either helping prepare or was busy getting cleaned up for the party. Only the captain and a few volunteers would stay on duty in case of emergency.

I could understand and appreciate the party. It was the awards ceremony that I didn’t understand and nobody would explain. All Lynn would say is that it was a human tradition to hand out special awards at the end of something big, and I’d see what it was all about soon.

Needing to freshen up before the festivities, I stepped into the galactic universal refresher unit closest to my quarters and found a rude surprise.

For the first time since I came on board, the settings were changed to accommodate humans rather than a Vr’rapt’ch. Evidently the volume of people needing to get ready for tonight was high enough that they needed to use my stall, and they had even moved my personal detangling brush to the corner rather than hanging it back on the wall hook where I left it.

I reset the controls to Vr’rapt’ch and took a quick few moments to gather the brush and other things that had gotten moved. With a quick wave of my hand, I activated the full body shower spray. 

“Yipe!” I yelped as lukewarm water sprayed out.

I glared at the offending shower heads after jumping clear of the far too chilly water. Not only had someone used my private stall, but they had also messed with all the settings. I grumbled as it took a few moments to get everything back to the way I liked it.

Remember folks, to clean the fur you must steam the fur. If the mirror doesn't fog up in under 30 seconds, add more heat.

I put my hand into the shower spray and confirmed the temperature was appropriately steamy, thus allowing me to finally eliminate the effects of void suit fur with a comfy soak and blow dry.

Stepping out of the stall with freshly cleaned fur, I was confronted by four crew members with combs and brushes. These lovely ladies were not going to let me out of the refresher with less than perfectly aligned fur, and more importantly they were curious what I had been up to on the last-minute unscheduled trip to the moon. When I didn’t admit to any sins or rat out Auggie and my coworkers, conversation shifted to the important stuff – crew gossip! 

“Did you hear who has a crush on Jarl?”

“If you think that’s good, you should hear about who Rosa caught naked in a shuttle after hours the other night.” 

“How many credits do you want to bet that Lynn and Raj step out tonight officially as a couple?”

'Thank you, ladies. Very informative,' I thought to myself. 'Very informative, indeed.' As I processed and cataloged information for later use, conversation shifted to tonight’s activities. 

Shuttle Bay 2 had been converted to a dance floor and would be used for the awards ceremony. While that was the main event, there were also movie theaters set up, a board game room, and the officer’s lounge was converted to a coffee and tea bazaar for the folks preferring quiet conversation. In what would prove to be a stroke of genius or an error of epic proportions, Captain Victor had also authorized an open bar. 

With bonds forged over girl talk in the refresher, our newly formed pack of five headed to the galley for dinner before the awards ceremony. I used the opportunity to obtain more gossip. After dinner, we went down to the shuttle bay together before a fond farewell at the door as we split off to meet up with our usual friends.

“Jarl!” I called out when I spotted the big man. “Elevator, please.”

He smiled and came over to lift me so I could sit on his shoulders. As I made myself comfortable towering over the crowd, he made a happy statement.

“Bing! Second floor! Hardware, children’s wear, and highchairs!”

I smiled at his joke. Jarl was definitely my chair, and I was up high.

There was a low buzz of expectation and excitement in the crowd, which broke into a cheer as Captain Victor came in and stepped up onto a stage with a cloth covered podium. After a moment to let the cheering calm, he stepped forward to give us a speech.

“When this ship was first commissioned, we were just humanity reaching to the stars. We didn’t expect the stars to find us,” he began. “Only a few years ago, we started the list of firsts. First contact. First exchange of technology. First diplomatic incident. All these things brought us to today, the first human exploration vessel to join the greater galaxy’s fleet. With the success of this mission, we join all the other sapient races not just as a trading partner or source of new culture to experience, but as contributors in all respects. Curious minds who seek to advance not only our own knowledge, but that of the galaxy. I thank all of you for your hard work making this mission a success."

As the captain paused, there was a round of applause and cheering from the crew.

“We have a further first to celebrate. This is the first Terran exploration vessel to complete a mission with a non-human crew member,” he said with a warm smile as his eyes met mine. Admittedly, I wasn’t hard to spot in the crowd as I was sitting up on Jarl’s shoulders. “As part of the mission, First Officer Jacque had Haasha collect a sample which I am proud to announce has been accepted into the collection of the Smithsonian. While it will be on display on the ship for the duration of this mission, and upon completion it will be transferred to Earth.” 

With a smooth motion he removed the cloth from what we had all taken as an impromptu podium. Instead, it was a display case with the rock I had found. Above the rock was a picture of me in my void suit captured in mid-skip as I headed out on one of my runs with the mining probes. Below the rock was a plaque describing the rock.

TEV Ursa Minor – First galactic exploration mission with multi-sapient crew.

Sample #15016b, collected by Vy’rapt'ch Crew Member Haasha.

“No seatbelt required.” 

The crowd cheered, although a sizeable chunk of us looked a little confused at the seatbelt reference. 

Susan whispered up to me, “Given the sample you found, we couldn’t resist an old NASA joke especially since your rock looks very similar to a sample collected during the original moon landing missions from Earth. The sample number actually refers to that Apollo mission specimen. It’s a joke for us nerdy science folks!”

I simply nodded and decided I’d ask for the full story later. Sometimes the best jokes are the nerdy inside jokes, and I still felt a little like I was on the outside looking in. I also was a little confused by some of the impressed looks when the caption mentioned the rock would be added to the Smithsonian. One of the nearby crew had even commented to me, “The Smithsonian? You’re a rock star now, Haasha!” Was that a pun because I found a rock?

As the cheering died down, Captain Victor stepped to the side of the display case and fired up a holoprojector.

“And now for the awards!” he called out and received a raucous cheer in response. I was about to find out exactly what sort of awards would be handed out post-mission. 

Science team member Okachuku Abebe received the first award aptly named the ‘Getting HIGH!’ Award for jumping the highest at an impromptu contest on the moon. The captain displayed an image of Okachuku with both hands up as he jumped next to a measuring rod that was supposed to be used for providing scale in images.

The next award started with a bit of video from someone’s suit cam. One moment, the person was walking and the footage was boring. After a moment, they tripped and you could hear a woman’s voice call out, “Oh, shit!” 

You then got a fantastic view of the ground approaching followed by a lot of scraping sounds accompanied by a terrified shriek. After a moment the video footage faded out and a still image came up showing a fresh scar in a hillside with a poor person in a void suit lying at the bottom of newly carved path. It then faded into black with an announcement voiced by Tac-1.

Travel distance, 103.4 meters. 

Geologist Daniella Sato earned the coveted ‘Have a nice trip!’ Award.

The captain and Susan went through about ten more awards immortalizing accidents, silly behavior, or just something strange. Competition for the ‘Dude, where’s my coffee?’ Award seemed to be especially fierce with six finalists. Surprisingly enough, Auggie wasn't among the contenders. In the end, my coworker Jack in engineering got the award.

I was used to asking, "Whose coffee is this?" and him sheepishly claiming it once per shift, but I didn't know that one day he put down his coffee, forgot about it, and got a replacement only to put it down and forget it again a total of 7 times in one shift.

As things were winding down, our fearless leader stepped up to the stage for one last award.

“And now, we have a special award to give. I know many of you aren’t classic sci-fi fans, but you still know the deal. However, we’re aware that at least one member of the crew likely hasn’t a clue. We’ll let Admiral James T. Kirk himself give us the original context,” Captain Victor stated with a smirk.

The holovid came to life of an old Earth 2D movie with an upset middle-aged man in a dark red uniform looking out. In anger, he screamed out, “KHAAAAAN!” 

The image changed to a crater on what looked like an abandoned planet with multiple impact craters shockingly similar to the moon we had just explored, and the man once again screamed out, “KHAAAAAN!”

The footage changed, this time to a suit cam. Somebody was in a deep crater looking around. They turned and… oh, no. 

What’s that on screen? It’s just the mining probe control deck in all its galactic standard boredom. The only crew member qualified to operate the finicky beast? That would be me.

This video footage was from my void suit camera when I realized I was trapped in a crater with nothing to do or look at for over an hour. The camera view suddenly turned to the blackness of space above as I knelt down and looked up to the stars in frustration. You could see my arms raised in shaking fists. 

“ARRRRRRRGH!” my voice rang out in the holovid with anger and anguish, silencing everyone in the shuttle bay. A moment later, the crew erupted with laughter and cheers.

Jarl confidently strode towards the stage with me on his shoulders so one previously unknown crew member named Haasha could receive The Khan! Award. The award was a small holoplaque mounted on a brass stand. If you tapped the base, the image of Admiral Kirk screaming would appear along with the text "Khaaaaan!" underneath.

I later discovered a switch on the bottom that would turn off the text and instead activate a tiny little speaker that would belt out my scream of frustration from that day when you tapped the base of the award. Still paired with Kirk's face, of course.

Thanks to Admiral Kirk, humans found a way to immortalize my plight well before I was even born. Quite impressive. Only a teensy bit embarrassing for me, but I loved the award.

And with that final award presented, the party began!

Lynn, Susan, and I started off in the board game room playing a silly card game called Rise of the Intergalactic Mini Muffins. The goal of the game was to force humanity to bake enough of your kind to dominate the world and launch a rocket to infect the galaxy, and you were limited to 10 rounds to accomplish this. On top of that, each kind of mini muffin had special powers and was trying to dominate all the other mini muffins! 

In round 8 of the first game, I thought I was going to take the win.

‘I’ve got Blueberry Blast ready, so as long as nobody messes with me the universe shall bow to my fruited might!’ I thought to myself. Unfortunately, I didn’t hide my glee as well as I thought I did.

“Sorry Haasha, but you’re Jammed!” Lynn called out invoking the dastardly powers of the Strawberry Shortcakes. 

Sadly, our infighting meant none of us dominated the world or got a rocket launched in that first game, but in the second Susan managed to stall us all in round 7 with Melted Choco-Mess as a setup to win in round 8 as the Chocolate Chippies.

I loved the game, and it was a blast to play something fast paced and fun that didn’t require school exam level concentration. Lynn told me such games are popular in the geek and nerd crowds and follow in the tradition of ones like Murder Bunnies (or was it Killer Bunnies?). 

We were about to shift over to Space Monopoly: Pirate Raider Edition when Rosa and Chang walked in with Jarl just a few steps behind. Nobody realized this was about to be a coordinated Haasha-napping.  

Chang and Rosa drew off Lynn and Susan with promises of fresh drinks and dark chocolate, yet as soon as they were 5 meters away and their backs turned, Jarl yoinked me and turned to run with me hugged to his chest. 

“EEEP!” I let out as the big guy thundered away as fast as he could. Behind me, I could hear startled expressions.

Lynn roared out, “No you don’t! RAJ, GET HIM!” 

And that’s how we ended up with tall, dark, and handsome chasing after us.

Jarl’s destination turned out to be the shuttle bay and more specifically, the dance floor. As he let me down, a huge cheer erupted from the crew and I saw two things. First, the holodisplay the captain had used for the awards ceremony was now playing a clip from Jarl’s void suit camera of me dancing with him while on a break. Second, my void suit was connected to the sound system and it looked like Tac-1 had been assigned DJ duties for tonight. Hopefully Tac-1 would steer clear of the elevator music or there might be dents in my shiny void suit before the end of the night.

Raj, Lynn, and Susan caught up soon afterwards with Rosa and Chang giggling like madmen shortly thereafter. Once my former board game buddies had been appeased with fresh drinks and chocolate, we all stepped out onto the dance floor to wiggle our tails off.

The rest of the evening was a whirlwind of dancing and good times. I might have gotten a little too drunk, and fell asleep on a couch snuggled against Jarl. 

I woke up after a great night’s sleep in a large cargo crate lined with blankets and pillows. It was obvious I was packed in a cargo crate as I could clearly see the open lid above me. There was a sign attached.

“Live specimen storage. Sample H-1.” 

I would soon learn there was both photo and video evidence of the just slightly inebriated science team ‘properly packing the specimen’. Auggie refuses to confirm or deny if that video will be included with the official mission record.

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Curious about the NASA seatbelt rock? Read the history over on Wikipedia!

Did you miss the last episodes? Find Escapade 17: On Thin Ice here and Part 17.5: Clean-up on Aisle Moon here!

And with Haasha's first true exploration mission under her belt, it's time to explore culinary experiences which might stretch her belt. There's a taste test up next! Place your bets what culinary masterpiece awaits Haasha.