I need advice because I am scared of everything with having health anxiety 😥

I have a colonoscopy coming up this July 23, I been having some gut issues since June 7. Today marks a a month as it’s July 7, I am super sick like mentally and physically and emotionally. I cry each day to the point I have no motivation to do anything, my symptoms started as constipation for 2 days straight than I had some prune juice and I had diarrhea for 2 days, my bowel movements started to change like to more loose or mushy and I had more urgency to go to the bathroom, but nothing came out, just had that urgency, I don’t know but maybe the days the 2 days I was constipated i constantly strained a lot to poop, and ever since my rectum feels like there’s something there like burning sensation or pressure that something is there to poop but not nothing comes out, that urgency that drives me crazy. As days passed by nothing seemed to get better my anxiety started rising and rising and stressing more and more, I had a follow up with my primary to try to get a referral for a gi specialist and do some blood work, on June 17 I went to the doctor and they took a urine test, and it seemed that they found some blood in my urine and wanted to check my kidneys they gave me paperwork for my ultrasound and blood work the next day, when I left I started to get dizzy :( I was panicking a lot, like a lot thinking I may be dying or have kidney failure, me and my mom left and in the car I started to get more dizzy like seeing all white my vision was blurry and white and I was freaking out, I felt my head like leaving from my body or something and I kept telling my mom I don’t feel well, I tried to breath in and out to calm down once we arrived I got off the car got my backpack and walked to the doorway and I don’t know what happened but I fainted and slit my chin where I needed stitches my mom got scared and called 911, I went to the emergency room they ran blood work and stitched me up, my lab work came back all good and was sent home, my anxiety was just bad each day, I went for my ultrasound the next day and I didn’t get a call so maybe my results are ok but in my portal said my right kidney shows mild diffuse increased cortical echogenicity. Can someone tell me what that means because it’s freaking me out, I assume it was nothing because they usually give a call if it’s something bad. My lab work came back and I freaked too because my wbc was 11.3 moderately high, and my mchc was 30.4 which is moderately low, and my neutrophils (absolute) is 9.0 moderately high and my creatinine was 0.50 which is low and my alkaline phosphate is 42 which is moderately low. But my doctor told me some of it is because I had my blood work taken after my chin injury and my lab work can be affected is that true? I am scared of dying or feeling pain in my body. Each day is a struggle. I have pelvic or abdominal pain like sometimes it burns and I have nausea in the morning like when I wake up, I have loose stools still :( or mushy. The urgent to still go, my hips hurt 😢 I feel mild fatigue. All this worries me a lot. I still haven’t seen blood in my stool. I have that discomfort in my rectum still, I just want to feel better, on July 2 I feel like I’m going crazy thinking I have cancer and not wanting to have to deal with finding out because if I did have cancer I don’t want to do chemo or radiation or whatever treatment because I know how hard chemo is and how bad it is. My mom took me right away to the emergency room because I was literally going crazy. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m dying. They did a lot of blood work took 7 bottles of blood and a chest x ray and all my blood work came back normal and my heart too. I told the doctor if I am fine why don’t I feel fine what if I have cancer or something blood can’t detect. He told me if I had cancer my bloodwork will come abnormal like it won’t tell me what cancer I have but it’ll need further tests and that my bloodwork is great. But I am not satisfied at all. How sure is this ? Is that true? I have issues in my gut and I know those things need to be tested on colonoscopy and endoscopy. I have a colonoscopy scheduled July 23 and I am so so scared. Firstly my 3 major fears is the prep not being able to keep it down and secondly I am scared to be sedated and not be able to wake up or anything, lastly the RESULTS. I don’t know how well I will deal with it if it’s bad 😔 because I don’t want any chemo or radiation or anything like that. if I do have cancer I don’t wanna deal with it. I am in the process of canceling but I can’t because I’ll always live in fear, and if I have something it’s caught early and if I keep going without the procedure what if it gets much worse I am so so sad. I am lost and i am scared to faint again or go into panic mode in the process of the procedure. I need help I need advice please I am panicking each day. I am so desperate to know what is going on with me but scared to know I have Cancer 😔😔 I feel depressed and alone. Please I need prayers. Idk if my stools are loose or mushy due to my severe stress and anxiety I been dealing with since June 7 I also changed my diet, since June 7 I always use to eat junk food like microwave food or chips like Takis or spicy food or take out food, or candy, process food, like maruchan or anything that’s bad basically barely anything healthy also I always skipped meals and ate late as 7-8 pm or 3-4 pm it Varys but I never ate on time, I also lost weight I am 96 pounds now I use to be 107 I’m not sure how fast I lost it because I didn’t check my weight daily but ever since June 7 I stopped eating wouldn’t eat much due to fear. So maybe I lost weight for not eating. I take yakult probiotic and oatmeal and blueberries or fruit or salads or eggs .. but I still skip meals because I am scared to get bloated and get scared :( I don’t feel bloated but I have that fear I will if I eat. I eat slow or small meals but I don’t eat well. Idk if that can be why I don’t poop solids as much I poop loose or mushy still. I been through a lot this whole month and I don’t know what to do. How can I accept death? How can I not be afraid of it? Why do we have to die. ? Why was we born? If we will suffer and die? I pray to God always to help me get through this difficult time. I’m scared to have Cancer please God help me. I’m only 31 I am a female never had gut issues ever. I forgot to mention I also use to drink wine it’s been 5 months that’s I been sober and haven’t had any wine. If you read all of this thank you. I am here to vent because I am going through so much I’m going insane. I don’t know if I can keep living I don’t want cancer to kill me😔