I stalked my LO for months and I'm 100% sure she noticed me now I'm scared of randomly running into her

There’s this girl, let's call her Dakota. She used to be friends with my cousin, but they had a falling out and stopped talking. Even after that, I couldn’t get her out of my head. Dakota became my LO because this girl actually smiled at me 1 year ago.

Back in middle and high school, I was constantly bullied. I don’t have a single memory of school without anxiety. I always felt invisible at best, or hated at worst. There was never a moment where I felt safe or appreciated. And somehow, Dakota became this unreachable symbol of everything I was missing.

Over time, I got obsessed. I started looking into every detail of her life, where she went, who she talked to, what she posted online. For about three months, I took the same bus as her every week, even though I had no reason to be in that area. I’d sit far away and just watch her, hoping she might notice me. That maybe she’d look at me, smile, or start stalking me, anything that made me feel like I mattered.

I found her house, her parents, her friends, everything she liked. I change my haircut because of her. Everyday i started doing unrelated rituals to make her notice me or something, like "if I walk on this street later Dakota smiles at me" or "if i eat this she will stalk me". It actually worked because she sit in front of me and she was costantly staring at me. But i don’t think Dakota ever recognize me being her friend's cousin.

One day, she did notice me. But not the way I had hoped. She turned around and gave me this cold, sharp look. It wasn’t anger. It was fear. And that hit me like a truck. In that moment, I realized that she noticed a weird stranger was stalking her

After that, I stopped. I left her alone and stopped silent stalking her, the truth is, every time I think I might run into her somewhere, Im scared she thinks in stalking her or something, im posting this because i've just see a picture on her instagram captured in a park near my house. All this post's events happened 6 months ago, she is not my LO anymore.

I’ve never told anyone this before. I don’t even know what I’m hoping for by posting here. Maybe just some kind of release. Maybe someone out there will understand.