I’ve tried to tell you

I’m lonely in this relationship. The complete lack of affection has me feeling incredibly unwanted…am I just not good enough for you anymore? Is it my looks? I go out of my way to try and make you happy. I give you space. Your aversions are just leaving me broken. I can feel the pain in my chest and down my arms. I’ve expressed how I feel a few times but like always, you don’t have anything to say but “whatever”. And it’s not like you’re mad when you say it you’re just silent. You call me all throughout the day during work to talk about that. Ask about us. I’m just so confused. We have a whole life together. Kids. House. I won’t just leave and you know it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I love you so much it’s literally killing me. If I try to express love, you pull away. I wait patiently and without words hoping you’ll reach for my hand or even look me in my eyes. It hurts my heart and I’m not equipped for this sadness.