Husband chose cat over me

Trying to get some insight here. I’m not a cat person at all. My husband knew that. Over the years I’ve made comments about how nasty I feel it is to have something that poops and pees in a box stroll around your floors and high areas tracking litter through the house.

So when a cat showed up at our door in early 2023, I told both my husband and daughter not to feed it. My husband fed it anyway. As you can imagine my daughter got attached to the cat and it never went away. It stayed outside but my husband then started planting the idea of adoption in my daughter’s head. We ended up selling our home and I expressed that I did not want to take the cat to the new home.

I had a long conversation with my husband about it reminding him of how I felt and said I was not comfortable bringing a cat inside the home(he wanted that) and we agreed not to. We even agreed we would tell our daughter we wouldn’t take the cat.

So the night I tell my daughter…because I didn’t say the words verbatim the way I told him…he got really aggressive accused me of lying…in front of our daughter and left me feeling so shook and confused that it silenced me.

When we moved the cat came and came inside the house. I tried to go along with it and told myself she wouldn’t be a problem and resolved to pretend like I was going to be okay(truly I felt I didn’t matter). It got to a point to where I couldn’t take it anymore though. Cat hair all in the kitchen, furniture scratched up, etc.

I brought it up to my husband that it was too much and he went into a long speech about how he was standing up to me, how he has to constantly give things up(He’s a slob and I ask him to help clean, when he doesn’t I throw things out. I can’t take clutter) and he’s choosing the cat. When I mentioned how I don’t feel clean, how it bothers me to the point where intimacy didn’t feel right it fell on deaf ears. When I told him I couldn’t live like this he told me he was pretty much choosing the cat and if we had to divorce so be it. 20 years married and a child.

It’s been a year since this happened and I have checked out, physically and emotionally. He has tried to kiss me…twice…and I want to vomit each time. But when he tried this morning he could tell I was repulsed and told me I hurt his feelings. When he told me a year ago he was choosing the cat over me I told him fine, my body was off limits to him. He had broken every part of me and that was the one thing I still had that he couldn’t take from me. Am I wrong for not having sex with him or having any type of physical contact with him?