Struggling to Find Community at my Intersections- What should I do?

I apologize for the rant, but I’m wondering if anyone else is experiencing what I’ve been going through?

I was raised secular, and have been trying to be part of Jewish community for six and a half years now, and I feel that I have nothing to show for it. I have tried larger reform shuls, smaller reconstructionist and conservative ones, and everything in between. I’ve attended shuls in the burbs and the city as well, and have lived across more than one metro area, and have never felt welcome as a part of the community, wherever I go. I've been ignored a lot, and have been told to join other shuls instead.

Recently, I had met with a Rabbi in a NYC based shul, since I moved back here recently, and was told that, unless I became a full paying member, that I could not make any future meetings with clergy, which seemed odd to me. Other shuls I have tried to reach out to have either ignored me or started a conversation but would not follow through.

I feel like a failure, because throughout the years, I’ve attended services, paid my dues, volunteered for community service events, but have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I have taken three Intro to Judaism courses, completed an adult B’Nai Mitzvah, done Jewish fellowships, been to an overnight Jewish retreat, and I’m still treated like a stranger. I suppose it doesn’t help that I was born interfaith (I’ve been told my name sounds “Catholic” despite my not being one), or being trans, but these are factors beyond my control.

Has anyone else struggled with finding a queer Jewish space that is accepting of someone with a secular upbringing? I feel lost here, and it's frustrating to feel like I have to navigate transphobia and antisemitism alone. Sorry for the rant.