FINAL POST EVER, YOU WANT TO END IT THEN READ

Salaam brothers and sisters,

What if I told you that what you are suffering from is not a addiction but rather a behaviour pattern you have adapted and left untouched for so many years, until you now can not be bothered to change it, you feel helpless and you feel trapped for good and it has controlled your life and brain.

Why can we not quit it. That is the real question. Imagine that this disease, this pattern was a person in your life. If being just 5-10 minutes with that person, he or she makes you feel weak, depressed, your iman/relationship with allah drops, you feel angry at yourself, that guilt, and just disgusted. What would you do to that person. You would quit it out without even thinking. Just think about the most toxic friend/person whom you have met in life, and what you did to cut them out. It was just this one descision. Now you have tried so many times, tried to learn how to break free, asked allah for help, made duas, asked others for tips, you have been on reddit, but sooner or later you always relapse. The real reason for this, is that you treat this issue, disease as something strange and abstract, while it is all in your brain, in you. Your real enemy is inside you. Let me try to explain this.

For 1 week i have been staying away from all kind of triggers, movies, been constantly in my dhikr, work, salah, and even done some additional sadaqah. Been really great talking to others, being with family, in the gym. Really having a wonderful week. Then comes tomorrow. I wake up and i feel tired. That is no issue in that, we all feel tired some days. Then i decide to spend 1-2 hours lurking on tv playing video games. Then morning time goes, and i get this thought in my brain that i should do my daily quran recitation. I delay it. Even though i delayed it yesterday, i still did it. Thats the first small footstep of shaytaan. Then prayer times come, and i pray them fast, without any good focus i used to have, and even i delayed some namaz with 30 minutes. Then comes evening. Until now ive just chilled and relaxed, had a normal day, not even a single thought has crossed my mind. Then my family decides to watch a movie on netflix, family friendly. So i keep watching it with them. Even thought i swore to ban netflix, i think there is no issue in watching these kind of movies. The movie had some bad tempting jokes, some scenes. That was the other footstep of shaytan i went on. No thoughts no harm. Then i play some more with my little brother and we sleep late. I pray fajr and go to bed. Just a normal day i think to myself. Here comes the turning tip. I get these thoughts of what movie to watch tomorrow, and i get this thought of watching king kong. So i search up the trailer on my phone in bed to see what kind of animals were in that movie, even though i know i just wanted a glimpse of that woman, some scenes in that trailer. Here is the point where i should have stopped. Phone in bed is out of the question. And the first thoughts u get, you should ward off otherwise they become stronger and become a concept, and you loose your intellect. So i keep on searching up movies in bed, then watching some bad scenes, i get guilty, and i try to do dhikr and refuge in allah, but the thoughts are still running trough my mind. So i get this thought that i have already seen so much, why not just watch more, then maybe I wont relapse but i will fullfill these whispers. Even if I fall i will just do taubah tomorrow. I know how to deal with this addiction know. So I relapse, and this is how i failed. Ive probably failed like this like atleast 80-90 times before. By searching up things randomly and keep on watching. Why did I do this?

You see we all are triggered by the same things because we are humans. Allah has put that lust in us to be with our spouses. But that lust can be triggered by so many things. I know that sudden thoughts, dreams, eating too much, being away from dhikr/quran, not protecting my gaze they all are the primary cause of relapses. In the human heart there is always two houses, one of an angel and the other one shaytaan which makes us do bad deeds. When we do good deeds and really do proper ibadat, then we feel good because the evil part of us has been supressed. You probably have noticed that the days where you are constantly doing dhikr and really focusing on salah and quran, you are having none or less intrusive thoughts. That is because your iman is a shield which wards off these whispers. When shaytaan wants us to fall or relapse, he ALWAYS puts out stepping stones which we take because we dont recognize the danger. We dont admit it. We are not honest to ourselves. Never do we relapse straight away, because we will ward of that action by our will and iman. It is trough weakining our iman little by little it because easier for those thoughts to pass your mind. So I will tell you know the real solution to what to do if you really want to end this once and for all:

Treat it as an enemy. Right now the thoughts are making you weak. Transform it to become your strength, something productive. That whenever you get the FIRST, PRIMARY thought of slipping or thinking, you turn back to Allah. Just do dhikr, pray salah, read quran. I promise you that the feeling of lust and whispers will subside. That is a promise of Allah. He said that when you get those bad thoughts then remember me straight away and i will make you see clear again. You open the eyes of your heart again so u can differentiate between danger and not, between good and bad, between what is lawful and not. Imagine how many rewards you will gain. Dont you think shaytaan will become angry or weaker? Why are you letting him control your life. He hijacked your brain now you break trough the system, you make some cheat codes too :) So the solution is actually what you need to do right now and what you need to do when those thoughts come. Cut out netflix, movies, drama, scrolling, twitch, eating too much, thinking about women and stuff. Just cut it out. Thats is your only solution. Now that you have done this you are not done. You have to know what to do when that thought comes, and that is the above. To break free from the cycle. You know how it starts and how it ends. Every time. You have that feeling in your heart telling you no, well thats your iman. Thats Allah trying to help you. And to make your iman stronger, study deen, learn quran, do dhikr, do good deeds, focus on salah. You bored do more of the good. You alone then talk to allah or do dhikr, best time :D those who know they know. You have the solution to every situation/problem/scenario in your hands. Why are you not doing it. What makes you fall back every time in the vital moments. Are you afraid of change. Think of what you have lost and what you have gained from this enemy. Why are you keep making it grow, and feeding it every week. It is not even a addiction. It is just something you have learned. Only you can stop it with Allah helps.

My dua goes to everyone here. This will be my last post. I have studied and studied around this issue and out of all my experience this the only thing that will help you. Be cautious. Dont fall in. Dont resist it, even Yousuf did not do it. He went to Allah. He talked to him. He is your only cure. Allah never put a issue in your life which you can not handle. Maybe Allah wanted you to get out of this for his sake so he could grant you jannat. Maybe this enemy is your ticket to jannat? Increase your iman, it will increase your love for allah and after a while it will make you fear allah. Fear is the other side coin of love. Right now you dont fear Allah at all. It is not because allah doesnt guide you or hate you. It is because you are refusing to help yourself. You can if you want. Thats all what i am going to say.

Bye forever, just think about what i said.

<3