I can’t tell my wife

The first thing I do when I wake up is shower. Even on days off. Literally, straight out up bed and in the shower.

The problem is about 60 seconds in to my shower I have to shit real bad. Rather than get out in the cold and drip water every where, I’ve just been going in the shower. These last few years, my BMs have been real loose. So there hasn’t been any issues with the waffle stomp. It all just goes down the drain. But lately I’ve been on a really good health kick and my dumps have been very solid and the shower drain gets clogged.

So I’ve been shitting in my hand and reaching outside the shower to plop it in the toilet, flush, no problems.

I don’t know how to stop doing this. I know the simplest thing to do would be wait to take my shower until after I crap, but 99% of the time, I really don’t have to go. Even on the rare occasion I don’t shower immediately after getting up, I just don’t need to go. It’s like the hot water triggers my movements.

Anyways.. I don’t have anyone to tell.. so I’m telling all you.