Scared of relapsing

Long time lurker first time poster-

I have been battling Crohn’s for about 15 years, since I was a tween. None of the medications ever worked for me. I tried everything! Then my doctor and I agreed to try Skyrizi as a last ditch effort before surgery. And it worked! I had never felt relief like this. I could even skip a day or two instead of going every single day. But because of insurance issues and issues at my doctor’s office, my Skyrizi dose has been delayed since January. I now have to get the loading doses again. But I have to wait to get lab work and tests before I can get the infusions, and I am starting to go to the bathroom more and more. I am terrified of things going back to the way they were. I couldn’t work a normal job, I couldn’t go out and live my life. I’m hoping that I’m just flaring and that this isn’t how things are now. But the panic is slowly setting in. I just needed to vent, I’m doing my best to calm down as much as I can but the negativity is ever-present.