28F Can't move on from a prospect. Iss dil ka mein kya karu?
Tldr at the end. Don't worry, I got you.
I (28F) met a guy (31M) through Anuroop who happened to be a friend of my sister. And we hit it off really well, maybe that familiarity helped. We talked for over 1.5 months and I did everything possible to not get attached to him lol. Like, kept a nice schedule of calls/texts, not being too friendly, also there was no lovebombing or anything from either side. We both respected this arranged marriage setup. We both took initiatives to text/call each other. And we felt like we could trust each other. Finally, I let him know (on text so as to not put him on spot) that I liked him and would I like to know if it was headed somewhere serious. To this, he replied with a sweet "Yes, I am also enjoying talking to you and I am very serious about this :)", within a minute. So go figure!
Main issue:
- We both live in different countries out of India. So meeting each other was going to need some level of planning. The country where he lives has a lot of visa issues going on (I feel you can guess where this place is lol). He himself is not sure if he can continue living there after 2026.
- There are just too many logistic issues and one of us would have to compromise a lot with their career which is really unfair. We both genuinely took steps to see if we could somehow make it work. But alas, we decided to part ways. This way we both don't have to spend a lot on flight tickets for a meet which is anyway going to fail. I wanted to suggest waiting for an year or so and staying in touch till things got better, but I don't know why I never said anything. I guess it is just not a practical solution considering our ages.
- Now, 4 months later it is still stinging like hell. I wake up with his thought and go to bed with his thought. I am not on any social media but I get this sudden urge and I just look at his WhatsApp dp every now and then (too cheesy, I know right!)
- When breaking it off, he sent me a 5 paragraph long message as to why we had to unfortunately be practical here. But the last 2 paras struck me. I felt that quiet heart break. I also discussed it with my closest friend since she knows both sides of the story. Even she said that it seems like he also genuinely liked me and was really avoiding having to part ways with me.
- I am talking to other people (in my country as well as back home), chilling out and everything. But, he lingers rent free in my heart. We both really hit it off. Even though I have never met him in-person. I wasn't upset for this long even after ending a 4-year long relationship. This is the first time in my whole adult life that I am actually considering compromising my career; I don't care what country we live in. It sounds stupid to my brain but the heart wants what the heart wants I guess.
- His personality really attracted me (my sister made me talk to him because she felt we would be perfect for each other). So intelligent and yet humble. He is not only surviving but thriving in a competitive environment. Yet, he never once mocked me for struggling with my career due to current market, which some guys have (I know, crazy! rejected them right away). Always appreciated my efforts and encouraged me. I felt motivated after quite a while.
I don't know what to do. As usual, I am completely no-contact with him. I am not any social media so I don't accidentally come across him. But welp, here I am dreaming about him. Should I try going back to him after a few more months? Maybe 8-12 months? But I am afraid he might not like me disturbing him unnecessarily.
P.S.: I don't know why I am suddenly being soooo romantic like randomly. It's quite uncharacteristic for me. I started learning piano to deal with my emotions lol. It's like the piano talks to me through music, it understands my feelings hahaha.
Tldr: It has been 4 months and I am still not able to move on from a prospect. Parted ways for practical reasons. No-contact with him since. Experienced in love so not some random crush. Wondering if I should go back. Learning piano to deal with emotions lol.
Posted Jul 8, 2025, 4:43 PM UTC