My husband came out as trans and things are moving at lightening speed

My husband came out to me as trans after 16 years of marriage and 5 kids. At first he told me he didn't plan on transitioning but about 6 months ago he changed his mind and said he will transition no matter what. I feel so alone. He has a whole support system and I have no one. In the beginning he said he knows there is a tendency to be selfish when people start this path but that he had no desire to be selfish. However since he decided he was going to transition any time I express my feelings in any way he begins to threaten suicide. I feel like my love for him is being used against me. We just started couples counseling and I asked him to wait to start HRT until we would get through some counseling. He went to two counseling sessions with me then started HRT. I feel like I can't express my feelings at all because they are never well received or he just makes it all about himself. He doesn't talk to me much anymore and instead talks to all of his for lack of a better term supporters. I feel like he makes me out to be a bad guy to them, but I'm very careful about how I portray him to others and I always have been that way. He says he loves me and wants us to be together but I don't know how he can actually feel that way when he is shutting me out and dismissing all of my feelings. Anyone have any suggestions. I'm just drowning and trying to keep my kids from feeling how bad things are.