TheLoveDiaries

Dear S

I wish you knew how I felt, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but I know everything, I saw your texts about your ex on your phone, I saw you worried about her when you were with me, as if bringing her up all the time wasn’t heart crushing enough, I know about you talking to that girl while we were engaged, I know all the things you look at on Reddit, all the secret conversations you’ve had and thought I would never find out, you aren’t slick.

I don’t know if you’ve ever really loved me, I feel like thinking about your ex when you’re with the girl you asked to marry is fucked up. I knew you wanted to marry her before me, I knew you wanted to be with her forever. I saw all the poetry you wrote about her…you never wrote any poetry for me…I wish I never saw any of that on your notes. I don’t know if you’ll ever be as romantic for me

After our wedding I saw so many videos of you and her dancing and having fun still saved on your phone, her with your mom, that stuff made me sick to my stomach, why the fuck do you have that still? You took me to all the same places as her…am I your replacement? Your redo? Your rebound you married? Why did you marry me? if it was always her?

-your wife