DISCLAIMER: DO NOT take any ideas from this post. Listen to your doctors. This is NOT medical advice, and is probably a bad idea. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I have BP-II and am unmedicated. I always have been, and probably always will be. My symptoms are mild enough that I've convinced myself I can manage, but severe enough that family, friends, and doctors have repeatedly urged me to go on meds. I’ve resisted.

After 15+ years of unmedicated BP-II, here’s my experience: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good

• My manic creativity has been a gift. Artistic pursuits have given me community and fulfillment. I can’t imagine life without it.
• My disorder has mellowed over time, especially since I got sober two years ago. Now I avoid all mind-altering substances (except caffeine). The impact of quitting drugs/alcohol was huge.
• I’m pretty skilled at recognizing episodes before they hit. I can ride them out, and I’m much better at self-care now.
• Life has been wild, beautiful, and interesting. I’ve become a bit of a mystic, and people tend to gravitate toward me.
• One doctor supported my anti-med stance and helped me try high-purity, pharma-grade fish oil (extremely high DHA). Not widely prescribed, only suitable for mild cases, but I think it helped (alongside other lifestyle changes).

The Bad

• Episodes, while manageable, are still disruptive. Mania and depression both derail routines and long-term goals, setting me back in my career and life.
• Most doctors push meds as the only solution. If you refuse, you’re on your own. Only one doctor was willing to help me find alternatives.
• I’m in my mid-30s and not sure this approach will work forever. Things could get worse again.
• I’m vulnerable to major life events. Losing someone close would probably destabilize me badly.

The Ugly

• There were definitely times I should’ve medicated. I’ve had severe episodes, including attempts, and have been very destructive.
• I’ve caused pain for people close to me—disappearing for months, losing everything, and making loved ones worry endlessly.
• There’s been so much suffering. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it. I feel worn out, and the exhaustion is real.

That’s my story. Again: Don’t use this as advice. Trust your doctors.