Losing hope

Feeling hopeless recently

I’m 24, turning 25 this month. In the past year, I have had the worst turn of events in my life. Suddenly gained a shoulder issue that has kept me out of the gym for over 6 months. Losing a ton of hair. Lost a ton of weight due to not working out so now I’m skin and bones. Broke my ac joint and had surgery 5 months ago snowboarding. Ended up getting muscular nerve damage in both shoulder that will require surgery without even attending to the original injury in my shoulders.

I feel robbed of my youth. I used to bench 265 and be lean and run all the time and have beautiful curly hair. Now I am balding faster and faster everyday. I am scrawny. I can no longer go to the gym to destress. Medical bills are killing me. I feel so lonely. I suddenly found feelings for a friend of mine. I never wanted that to happen.

Thoughts about ending it all have passed to my mind. What’s the point of it all? Life keeps beating me down. I am no longer attractive. I lost myself.