Saw my cardiologist today :( but I also saw another nice sunrise :) - Still pushing forward

Yesterday's post: https://www.reddit.com/r/selflove/s/n4sMLMncU7

So let me start with the good stuff. Yesterday after work I was ABSOLUTELY whipped with exhaustion. Ended up falling asleep shortly after I got home. I started reading and bam it was lights out for me.

Woke up around 4 or 5 feeling super well rested though. Immediately hopped outta bed, brushed my teeth, and did some more daily affirmations. I'm starting to get a certain kinda glow towards myself if that makes sense, like a genuine perception of the qualities that make me, me. I feel real, which is odd to say, but I haven't felt that way in such a long time.

I did a little more reading from meditations, then I headed over to Walmart for my daily energy drink. When I was headed inside, there was a homeless lady sitting outside who complimented my hair for whatever reason, so what'd I do? I bought her a nice big sammich. She was absolutely delighted. I felt so happy to be able to help her. I've been there more often than I'd like to admit, so I understand what it's like to need. I can't give too much, but it feels good to give what I can to others.

Next, I ate breakfast at some random gazebo that I used to always go to as a teenager. The sunrise looked unfathomable there. The music was absolutely hitting my soul too for whatever reason. It really feels nice to be in this kinda rhythm. I'm feeling comfortable, but still at times, I wish I wasn't so alone. I just gotta keep pushing.

Here's a song of the day: https://open.spotify.com/track/6jngbazrfHqLhXmnUtsHg6?si=IiekI_blTyS5JxNPyEDATA

Now onto the cardiologist appointment. They said based off the sound of my heart and my symptoms, there's a high likelihood of a severe leaky valve. It's not something that's going to destroy me right away, but it is a serious situation. It may not be an immediate emergency, but it is scary. I'm terrified. I'm getting an echocardiogram done in a few weeks. I also have to wear a thing on my chest for a week or two and document everything I feel. A stress test will follow. I'll also be getting blood work done to rule out any thyroid issues and whatnot. If I have any issues at all, I was advised to jump straight to the ER, especially if my symptoms grow progressively worse. I'll be okay though, I'm not cooked, so do not fear for me ladies and gentlemen.

Given the stress of the silly "you might have this" news, I'm probably gonna grab some ice cream on my way home from work and eat my heart out when I get home. Probably take a warm bath, just kinda relax. I'm not gonna stress over the news until anything's actually confirmed or not. I know I'll be fine. I'm stronger than that. She sandpapered the mess out of my chest though to exfoliate it before sticking the thing on and now it burns, which is annoying.

Regardless of the news, I'm really starting to feel at peace with myself. The lady at the cardiologist office even complimented me and even complimented my nose, and you know what? For once, I accepted the compliments. I've never been able to really do that. I know it's so early on, but I'm really feeling the effects of the work I'm putting in already.

Anyways guys, here's to another day of trying to do better. I hope you all have a great one :)