Single mother raising a son and trying to walk with Jesus

I’m a single mother my son is 3. I really wanted the relationship , the marriage, and then the baby, but I wasn’t healed enough before having my son. I also have a 16 almost 17 year old daughter and that a whole other battle. I been trusting God for my relationship with my daughter. That I had very young I made so many mistakes and I have repented and changed thanks to God almighty and Jesus Christ ! My children dont have the same father because I was left as a teen by the father of my daughter. (I’m not the type to fight for someone to be with me. He was a teen too. Although till this day he refuses to step up but that’s another topic) I was scared to have another child and go thru the same thing again. Due to the peer pressure from my family (my aunt and mother) telling me my clock was ticking and I would give birth to a baby with problems cause I’m waiting to long; I was only 27 at the time) or my mom saying I was a failure at life because I haven’t had another child. I fell for it and rushed it. Now I’m here a single mother another child to now a boy. (I know I should have not fell for it but I did it was my family these are people I thought loved me) I have currently completely stopped dating and just am afraid to get into anything. I want a Godly man, but Christian men see women that already have children as idk but not what they want or need which I get and understand. I’m afraid as a women by herself no support from family at all no male friends or anything how can I raise my son to be a man? I try to watch youtube videos but it’s just a lot of videos telling me single mom boys are doomed I love my son and the reason me and his dad are not together was because he was abusive while I was pregnant and I didn’t want my son to grow up seeing and thinking that his mom being abused was normal. I attempted dating so my son can have that masculine energy but this man was not a good man he was of the world and didn’t want to get out. I pray a lot about it. He’s 3! I was raised by a single mother and it was a lot I’m still healing from that upbringing. I just want him to grow up to be a good man real man idk how to teach him. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢