A rant on my situation

Is the goal of parents mostly to show that their children are better ? Has life become just a toxic race about who is scoring more in exams, who is earning more?

Every time after some exam result pops out whether be it jee , Ineet , , i am made to feel like a loser . My mom even said after my jee failure that she shouldn't have feed me . She will tell me why i should follow everything as she said because she feeds me . She will tell others why expecting from a child is useless. She tells why I am a failure because I couldn't help her in earning fame . I got 11k rank in IAT being partial dropper as I want to move out of engineering and switch to research

Here , I am with no options and no friends . I think everyday how things would hv been different if i didnt make those silly errors in IAT . Nothing but a helpless situation with even not a single person i can share my thoughts. Sorry for posting it here.