I support my partner in every way, but get no support from him ever

Massive rant, I'm angry. Feel free to ignore. Me (F45) and my husband (M46), together for 23 years through thick and thin, no kids, and I feel like I carry this man all this time. It hasn't been all roses, we had some ups and downs, but hey I guess everyone does at some point. My idea of an adult relationship is that whatever happens, you are there for the other person and you help them get through it to your best ability. My love language is act of service. My husband on the other hand... I don't even know. I feel like I'm left alone every time the difficulty arises and I'm so lonely.

Long story short, my husband is not the greatest with money, he'll spend what he has. Our pay checks were quite similar and we contribute 50/50. Which is ok with me. Many times I had to bail him out when he spent too much or acquired debt etc. He got a bit better and learned how to manage his money the right way. A few years back he was stuck in dead end job, his mental health taking a toll, so he needed a change. Found a perfect opportunity at the pay cut for the first three years (training programme), but good wages afterwards. I jumped in right away, made the plan, took on all the bills I could, paid his loan off (used up my savings for it) so he can turn his professional life around. He was very grateful, and I was happy to see him blossom. It was a difficult 3 years, but its great now. He now earns a lot more than me, but we kept the 50/50 system.

He always used to say, he would do anything for me and knowing, that I want to explore other employment options for myself and grow and learn, he said that I'm next, my turn to look for an opportunity. And once he's done and on good wages, its my turn to do something for myself.

And I did. This year I've been offered my dream job with an opportunity to quickly progress in the career path, but initial pay drop, of about $10k a year sounds harsh. And I found myself alone. Again.

There was no "that's great, congratulations and don't worry about the money, we'll figure it out and anyway, its only a temporary drop". There was, "damn, I wish I could help, what you gonna do?". Which means - girl, you're on your own.

My heart just sank. I know I can do it and I will, but it'd be so nice knowing that there's this close to me loving person who wishes me well and is happy for me, and is there for me, in case I need him. And no, I don't want to have to ask him for help, he knows exactly what our situation is and I hoped so much he'd step up.

I catch myself thinking, what is the point of him? How is he enriching my life in any way, I feel like I do it for him all the time yet all I ever get are empty words. I feel like I'm being shallow for thinking that and perhaps ask for too much. I know I spoke a lot about money here, but I don't want to come across as a gold digger, its not like I want anyone to support me so I can sit and do nothing, all I need is some comfort in knowing I have someone to turn to in case of emergency. A few months back, he shouted in anger that i never supported him and never really did anything for him and it still breaks my heart when I think about it. My mom used to say things said in anger are the true colors.

This is only one situation described, of many others, but I don't want to write an essay, they are all similar anyway. I just kinda want to go and never look back and be my own support - as always.