Having a Narcissistic Parent and An Enabling Parent

I grew up in a house with a narcissistic father and a mother who enabled everything he did.

My dad is the classic narcissist, controlling, cruel, emotionally abusive, and always needing to feel in power. He belittled me constantly, made disgusting comments, and used fear as a way to keep control. But what hurts just as much, maybe even more — is my mom standing by and letting it happen.

She never hit me, never yelled the way he did, but she never protected me either. When he screamed in my face, she stayed quiet. When I cried, she told me not to make things worse. When I begged her to step in, she told me “that’s just how he is,” or blamed me for setting him off.

She always had an excuse. Always chose his comfort over my safety. I used to think she loved me in her own way. Now I just think she loved peace, even if it meant watching me suffer.

I’m 18 now, and working on leaving. I have my pets, I planned on escaping with my sister but shes a minor and that comes with issues. They’re the only real love I’ve consistently felt. I don’t even want revenge. I just want peace. A life where I’m not constantly walking on eggshells or being made to feel like I’m the problem for simply existing.

To anyone else who grew up with one narcissistic parent and one enabling parent: you’re not alone, and you’re not crazy for feeling like both of them failed you. Your other parent should also be held accountable. They may have not hurt you like your other parent, but they let it happen.