Reason for behaviour of Fiance 27M engaged to 26F

A boy B(27) is engaged to a girl G(26) in an arranged marriage setup. Boy asks for her number during engagement, she refuses it and gave her mother's number. After engagement she texts "send me the engagement photos" just this no Hi, Hello How are you. Boy sends the photos. Then she texts her personal no and says he may call if he wants to. The boy doesn't call sticks to text only as she previously said "My Dad told me not to give phone number when askes the 1st time"

Then she starts complaining "why did you ask for my number when you didn't have to call" Boy says okay I thought maybe you didn't ask your parents so okay No issue I'll call today and she can tell him if she has to say anything anytime. He calls that day, she sounded a bit insulting and complaining said "My was saying you weren't smiling so I told them oh no maybe his face is like that" (Is that a joke? or calculated insult)

Then she starts demeaning jokes and demeaning language like an if the boy mentioned "You mean Mumbai" she responds" waha kaha ghus gaye tum" .

Is it boy's fault that one day he talks that his flat is in beautiful posh location and everyone is educated in the family then she said "was that your aunt" boy said "yeah, she is a Professor in Government college " okay It may sounded to her like bragging. But praising one's qualities or life doesn't give other person right to insult other. When she asked how was my dress boy said "beautiful " she complained"just beautiful " and when asked how was his she said "Not good" then laughs and said okay "good". Next day boy sent a relative cousion couple photo pointing see that's people are wearing in weddings.

She literally said _____ wear such clothes.(Even though boy said he's my cousion)

Then when called to ask about it she said don't buy such suit, you will look ______" Then the boy asks her if she really wanted to marry him. She acts in rage saying how dare you ask such stupid question after engagement?

Yes, in between she did send good morning or normal or even good messages. Then when she send a slap emoji out of no where then again then demeaning videos in which boy is shown in bad light, the boy asked " Are you sure you want to marry me?"

This time she sends her relative with complains: -He brags about his money and education and tries to show me down

He asks for book ( which was a suggestion not a compulsion, though she askes for phone) -He asks "Do you want to marry here" -If he wants to end it, he can but don't blame me -He speaks English to put me down The relative said why did you take her number and why you are bothering her. Boy said okay from today till marriage I won't call. Then boy shows him her slap emojis and other stuff.

The same day she apologized and makes peace over call. Boy says he won't call if she want to talk she can call. Then boy out of frustration puts his educational achievement and office photos on status saying if I wanted to show something I would've put this.

For many days she tries to negotiate that boy makes the call, boy refuses then she started calling everyday with 90% good and 10% demeaning jokes like "Your Dad will beat you untill you look like ghost if you come late".etc. Puts on DP the image in which boy's eyes are closed when objected ahe said "you are looking romantic". Boy removes DP and said He doesn't want to talk for a week. She then puts pressure to talk so ahe made sure calls are there.

Due to this out of reactive abuse the boy also insulted her back then thought may be he should cut contact as she will continue to provoke.

One day she sends the video of a man crying in very humiliating manner with woman laughing above it titled "men are in fear" citing a saurabh case. Which offends everyone in boy's side when complained her parents said your boy is also torturing her, calls her ill literate .

What could be the possible reasons of such behaviour? tl;dr : Fiance is having toxic behaviour

Posted Jul 8, 2025, 4:53 PM UTC

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