AITA for canceling my daughter’s birthday party because my husband didn’t want his ex-wife to be there?

Hi Reddit. I (41F) have a daughter, Mia (10F), from my previous marriage. I’ve been married to my husband, Kyle (43M), for a year. Kyle has no kids of his own.

Mia’s dad, Eric (40M), and I have always co-parented very peacefully. We’re not close friends, but we’re civil and can be in the same room for Mia’s sake.

Mia has been planning her 10th birthday party for months. She wanted it at the community pool and specifically wanted both me and her dad there. She was so excited and even hand-made invitations for her friends and family, including Eric.

When Kyle found out Eric was going to be there, he said he felt “disrespected” and refused to go if my ex was present. He said it would be humiliating for him to share the same space and that it would “blur family boundaries.”

I tried to explain that it’s Mia’s party, not mine or Eric’s, and she deserves to have both parents there. Kyle said I was choosing my ex over my husband. He gave me an ultimatum: either uninvite Eric or cancel the party.

I didn’t want to create drama on Mia’s birthday, so I told Eric he couldn’t come. Eric was hurt but said he understood. When I told Mia, she was devastated. She cried and said she didn’t want the party anymore if her dad couldn’t come.

Kyle said if Mia was going to “act spoiled,” it was better to cancel the party altogether. So… we canceled it. Mia has barely spoken to either of us since. She spent her birthday weekend at Eric’s house instead.

Now Eric and his parents are furious with me. Even my own mother said I’m letting Kyle control me and that Mia will never forget this. Kyle insists I did the right thing by putting our marriage first and says Mia needs to learn to adjust to our “new family dynamic.”

I feel terrible, but I also believe it’s important to back up my husband. AITA for canceling my daughter’s birthday party to avoid upsetting my husband?

Edit: okay Reddit thanks for opening up my eyes. I’m going to throw a party for my daughter exactly the way she wants it this upcoming weekend and if my husband says anything about it he can kick rocks I’ll update you all on everything after I talk to him tomorrow morning.