no fp

i literally cannot stand how empty inside i feel when i don’t have a favorite person (it’s always a romantic interest). having one hurts of course cause you depend your whole mood on them but im de-centering men and im SO bored. like what is the point of life i legit can’t feel happiness unless its synthetic like drugs or from a man who’s going to destroy me. “love yourself” yeah i get it but i feel like i have no self unless i have someone to like “perform” for or live for. idk if thats the right wording. and the dating world is shit. everyone sucks. blah. fuck all of this.