Relationship

I keep posting and taking it back down but I 23f am dating a 36m and hes nice, we do nice things together I don't think hes my fp. But he doesn't want marriage. He doesn't want kids with me spesificly because I'm mentally ill and he doesn't think pregnancy would be good for me. He looks at other girls and makes comments on them that trigger me. But I don't wanna leave him I don't want to be alone. I love him sometimes and hate him others. I feel so bad because I haven't been a great partner and neither has he but I've definitely been worst. I let guys flirt with me and even flirted back some and stuff. I want to fix things with him and he wants to with me too but what if its all for nothing because of the core values we don't align on. I'm just very frustrated and obsessed over if it will work out or not. Ugh