My guy scammed 3 people(I was the middle man) out of the blue, all at once. And to top it off, I've got another fucking fissure, this is the third one in 6 months!

Im so pissed! i have been doing business with my guy for almost a year! ive been constantly bringing him new customers like crazy by being a middle man for him, making him good money. I literally do 3 different transactions with him last wednesday, thursday, and friday. each day he tells me he dropped off the packages. no updates on tracking on any of them. all of them say they are still waiting to be dropped off. so he made shipping labels, but he didnt take them to the PO like he said he did. Ive been trying to message him and he has pretty much ghosted me. I feel like a damn idiot. people lost money, i had to pay one of them back with literally the last bit of cash i fucking have for the entire month. im now broke because i had to pay them what they lost. I cant believe this shit. So now i have no way to get any anymore.

that was my last and only person i could get from. im not willing to risk going to the city again and put myself in danger like i use to anymore. as a female ive ran into so many situations where i could have never seen the light of day again. i cant do that anymore. its too scary. im so pissed. i mean this means i have no choice but to get sober, which is very much needed, but i wanted it to be on my terms, not like this. But its a good thing i guess. 6 months ago i started getting fucking anal fissures due to my constipation and probably dehydration from my meth use. and fuck that is the most painful shit ive had to deal with. sometimes it makes me cry hysterically cause of how painful it is. its awful.

Ive got enough dope left for maybe 3-4 days if i stretch it out. Im so nervous about getting sober. i hope i can handle this. last time i tried it was just horrible. the depression about killed me. ive never experienced depression as intense as the depression you get from not using anymore.