Hopefully an outlet

I don’t know if this is the right place for this, and if it isn’t, I’m sorry. I’m just drained. For context, I’m a male, but not like the typical one. I’m the opposite of what a traditional “man” is supposed to be. I suppose that’s why I don’t envy being alive. There are far better men than me who deserve life, and if I could, I’d switch places with those who aren’t here so they could bring some kind of happiness to this world. I know what this post might look like, but it’s not that—I just don’t have the heart to do anything bad. Still, I needed an outlet, because every day that goes by, it feels like I’m getting closer to slamming my fist into a wall and downing an unhealthy amount of tequila—just to feel some sort of numbness. I’m tired. Not being good enough is finally catching up to me. Anyway, I wish I could open up more and talk about what’s been on my mind. Either way, thank you to anyone who read this and let me get it off my chest.