feeling lonely but the expectation of dating kills me

i am F in my mid twenties so i have gotten asked by my (religious) parents if i have a pertner for marriage intentions.

i feel so lonely, my friends dont give a shit, my family is awkward with each other. we are not in a bad terms. i can only try to focus on working and getting money to survive. i want a hug but i dont want to responsibility of having to "get married" or being pressured to child rearing. i dont even want to date because the religious implication of casual dating being a no-no, and god forbid same sex companions for affection, i dont wanna be disowned as a child.im just tired and lonely. seemingly im no ones favorite and all i can try is to not kill myself.