I've genuinely lost myself.

Everybody remembers me as the sweetest, bubbliest most affectionate girl ever. Now everyone comments on the fact that I look tired, pale and that I'm not myself. Everyone asks me if I'm okay, but nobody genuinely cares. I lost everything and everyone in a few months (details on my page, won't be writing them down here as I'm just venting and it's a lot, if ur curious I recommend reading the posts, its in 2 parts!!) I'm back to where I was a few years ago, I fucking relapsed on drugs, I lost everyone, I'm just rotting my bed every day, I'm done. I give up, some people have shorter lives and I think that's what I was always meant for, I think it's time to finish the last chapter of my book, I genuinely do not want to wake up anymore. Everyone that says they do care just say I'm being dramatic, I'm not. I'm so fucking sick of this, why would you decide to put me into this world if you won't love me no matter, mom and dad? I'm so sick of everything, I can't put it up, it's like I'm falling down an endless black hole with a rope attached to it, as soon as I start climbing up and getting somewhere someone cuts the rope and I fall even further down than I did before. I lost everything that mattered to me and my family hates me, I owe them my life. I have to go soon, I owe them that.

I'm sorry to everyone I ever hurt, I never meant to.