Advice for following directions in a group.

My 6m child seems to consistently struggle with hearing directions. At home we just know we need to make sure we have his attention before talking to him, ask for eye contact (often a few times for higher level things), and have him repeat directions back so we know he knows what to do. Then check back to make sure he follows through. He’s a good kid and gets so proud of himself when he does a good job at tasks like putting his laundry away. But even asking him a question and getting an answer can be tricky (do you want a bagel or eggs for breakfast?) He had his hearing checked and that isn’t an issue.

It becomes really hard though when he’s in a group. He is in tennis camp at the moment and it can be hard to watch him struggle when I know he didn’t hear a single direction, was looking away spinning his racket, etc. He seems oblivious that he is even supposed to be doing something sometimes. Or he will take so much time watching the other kids to see what he should be doing that it’s almost done by the time he starts.

I struggle with knowing how much to intervene. Do I just let him figure out how important it is to listen to directions? I remind him to pay close attention to the directions every water break, before it starts, etc. I have tried giving him verbal directions from the bleachers to help him out but I kind of feel like a crazy mom since all the other parents are keeping to themselves while their kids follow along with the coach, so I try to refrain. The coach has started noticing and giving him 1:1 directions after he gives all the other kids directions sometimes, which I’m thankful for. It’s pretty much the same in any large group setting, kids church, co-op, wrestling when he tried that. He just seems out to lunch. Are there other things I can do to help him get better in this area? I realize he’s only 6, and these activities are not all that important right now, but I’m not seeing the same behaviors from the other kids his age so much anymore that it’s on my mind.

His older sister and I both have ADHD, so it’s on the radar, but he did well so far with homeschooling kindergarten so we don’t want to pursue that prematurely.