My gf seems like she’s putting a timetable on my recovery

My gf is a very supportive, loving, loyal woman. The one thing that is starting to cause me concern is how he says, in so many words, you’re not getting better because you don’t want to.

I’m not getting better because I realize that the at greatest achievements in my life, I still had to kill people, treat patients I couldn’t save, lost my brothers, all meant nothing when the Taliban regained control of the Middle East despite our efforts prior. So they died for nothing. We’ve killed for nothing.

She is getting upset with me because after just 1 year of being a a relationship that coincided with our drug use. Now she wants to get sober after having a family member pass, and I’m still stuck on the guys I lost in war and she says it’s all the same.

Am I wrong to believe this isn’t what recovery or support for that matter looks like?