Wondering if I may be trans or if I am just 'thinking' myself into it?

Hey there, throwaway-ish account for obvious reasons. I'd really appreciate any insights, thoughts, or suggestions people have. Tl;dr: >!Not sure if I'm actually questioning my gender or just talking myself into thinking I might be trans (or I'm cis with TOCD).!<

For background, I'm AMAB and have been trying to work through some confused thoughts on my gender identity since earlier this year. After watching a video that included me in the background, I had a gut-punch reaction and just hated my face, body shape, beard, etc. Don't recall exactly how I got onto this train of thought, but somehow I got to thinking that I may be trans.

I keep going back and forth because I can rationalize certain things as things everyone feels (who doesn't dislike some aspect about their face/look?) or things that just may be due to my own internal issues. Some of the major issues that have been stuck stewing in my head since then, and why I keep going back and forth are:

• For the past couple of months, I've had random (intrusive?) thoughts that I would be happier if I became/if I had been born a girl. Usually occurring at night or when I'm not occupied, they're not constant or even every day but it's more than once a week. These thoughts have been less common lately, though that may due to current activities like growing out my hair, shaving more consistently, etc. I've also caught myself looking at cis women during the day and thinking what works/doesn't for them fashion-wise. However, it may be a feedback loop of thinking that I'm potentially trans leads to these kinds of thoughts.
• Growing up I never thought of myself as a "girl who knew she was in the wrong body." I mostly just thought of myself as being "Thethrowiest" and doing what interested me (like reading, games, etc). It sounds a bit self-centered, but I hope that makes sense. I also don't currently view myself as a woman, but (as my earlier point) maybe want to be one? It's confusing. I'm obviously questioning everything and wondering if I'm genuinely re-evaluating my gender identity or just cherry-picking common human experiences (doubt, anxiety, etc.) and trying to force myself into a certain mold.
• I've always disliked my facial and body hair. I was able to ignore it more when I was younger since there wasn't that much and it didn't grow that fast. As I have gotten older, that has changed so I've taken to plucking or shaving (especially face and chest, though I've also recently started including my arms & legs) and like how smooth everything feels. I'm strongly considering starting laser hair removal for certain areas (like face, etc.), even though that will be expensive af. I also generally dislike my face (wish it wasn't as square and either more angular or had a 'softer' appearance) and body shape. However, it feels like my dislike of hair, body, etc. might be more on a mental/aesthetic level as opposed to a more fundamental ("this is wrong") kind of dislike.
• I've given serious thought to at least trying out HRT low-dose and short-term to see if I like it/it has the clarifying mental effect people talk about. Even considering the risks (infertility, breast growth, etc.), I've looked into setting up an appointment or ordering supplies and going DIY. I think on an intellectual level, I'd like the effects (smooth skin - yay!, breasts - great!, feeling more emotions - can't wait to feel it), but I honestly don't know if that is just me talking myself into it and I'd regret it afterwards or if I'd truly like it.
• I've tried some standard gender affirming milestones. I painted my nails and liked how they looked, catching myself looking at them randomly afterwards even with my amatuerish job. Similarly, I tried dressing femme a couple of times and thought I looked nice. Neither of those were a kick in the head moment of "Wow, you're really a woman after all." I also tried calling myself by different pronouns/adjectives and they all felt pretty neutral. However, I probably have anhedonia according to my therapist so feeling actually happy isn't something I've experienced in literally years.
• I recently purchased some women's underwear and liked how they looked on me in the mirror. It also felt like I could express myself more freely while wearing them: smile spontaneously, be more expressive, etc. A couple weeks ago, I wore them to work and coworkers kept talking about how happy I looked and acted in comparison to my normal, in their words, slightly sad look. However, if I'm not looking at myself directly while wearing them, I get this persistent, anxious feeling in my chest. This feeling has been fading as I wear them more often but I'm not sure if it's that I'm worried that I'll be discovered, general anxiety, or if I'm cis and giving myself dysphoria by wearing them.
• I've been into transformation, mainly gender transformation, material since I could first access the Internet. I've spent a lot of time since my early teens on Fictionmania, reading fanfics and works with gender transformation (like Ranma 1/2), and playing games where gender transformations occur. However, I know that interest in transformation/gender transformation ≠ gender identity, so I'm concerned I may be applying this long-time interest onto my current questioning. I do plan on abstaining for at least a month to see if that causes any changes in my thought process.

So again, I'd really appreciate any insights, thoughts, or suggestions people have as I work my way through this.

To preempt some questions: 1) Yes, I'm seeing a therapist though not a gender therapist. They are aware but we haven't delved deeply into it yet. 2) Yes, I have tried the button question and I tell myself I'd hit it every time. However, it's a thought experiment and I don't know that's how I would react in real life. 3) No, never been diagnosed with OCD.