Should I have our niece move in with us?

This is a long one, but background is important imo.

My sister and I live on opposite sides of the country. To say we don’t have a good relationship is an understatement. I find her to be manipulative and her husband to be an a-hole.

They had three kids. Oldest actually lives about an hour from me. My sister kicked him out when he turned 18 because he got into a physical altercation with the father. Cops said one needed to leave or they take the younger kids away. So of course, my sister chose her husband. The oldest lives with his father’s mother (who is very nice and helpful).

The niece “Liz” is now 18. She also couldn’t stand living there and worked it out with my mom to get an apt. together. She moved out a week before she hit 18. My mother moved in with her about two months after.

My mom sold her home and everything with the intent to live with Liz and help her out. Things went very poorly. I really just think Liz didn’t know what it was like living with a 70+ year old and my mom didn’t remember what it was like living with an 18 year old.

It got really bad though because Liz is working full time but wouldn’t pay any bills. Plus, my mom had given her a credit card for emergencies, and Liz ran up about $2k worth of nonsense like Starbucks. (See what I mean above?)

Liz hadn’t checked any mail in the two months before my mom got there, so no utilities had been paid, etc. so my mom got all the accounts in order, but Liz was refusing to speak to her. They went on for about two weeks of my mom trying to talk to her and Liz refusing. My mom would call me and tell me how crazy Liz was being. Liz has a dog she crates all day long. The dog basically lives in the crate and only comes out when Liz takes it for a walk. My mom took it out once and Liz screamed at her. She later on left a note on my mom’s bed calling her a dog killer (dog is not dead).

So I told mom to come live with me. She is elderly and has gotten forgetful. She moved out and told the leasing office she wanted her name off the lease. They charged her two months rent.

Now, that seemed off to me, and I told my mom several times that she should contact the leasing office to make sure they knew she just wanted her name off and that Liz was staying. My mom insisted she said it several times and they knew.

Sure enough on July 1st the landlord went in expecting a cleared out apt. and Liz was there. So she called saying my mom was making her homeless. I said let me call the leasing office.

They were accommodating and said that Liz would need to apply and get approved to be able to stay. According to Liz she does income qualify. I tried to get ahold of Liz for days with no response. After about 4 days she contacted me saying she had been admitted to the hospital for trying to commit suicide.

I told her I was glad she was ok, and that there is a path for her to stay in the apt. But we would need to discuss her options next week. We agreed not to talk about it then since she had just gotten out.

The leasing office wanted an email to let them know what we elect to do. Ideally, the lease would end August 1st and Liz could apply to continue on it. If they reject it, it would give her time to find a new place.

Again I hadn’t heard from her in three days. I had the police do a wellness check, no one was there.

I started reaching out to people she follows/is followed on Instagram and got ahold of a friend. Her friend was very nice and let me know on Monday, Liz’s boss had her admitted to the hospital again for suicidal thoughts

I truly think Liz needs adult support. And obviously needs professional help.

If she came here I could try and help. But my mom would be a trigger for her. I also don’t know how much help I can be. She’s had 18 years of bad parents.

The husband’s mother who has the older son also offered but Liz doesn’t get along with her siblings.

I don’t know if having her move away from friends and her job (she actually got a really good one), is a good idea. Plus, it sounds like she is very mentally unstable and I have a 13 and 11 year old in the house.

My house is also rather small, so may make things difficult. A positive is though since my mom is retired and my husband works from home, there is always someone home.

I really don’t know what else to do to help her. I definitely don’t think her moving back home is an option. They will trigger her into a grave in a New York minute.

And she needs to know she has family who cares about her.

Any advice of what to do would be appreciated. I’m at a loss in how to proceed.

Sorry if this was long winded and all over the place.