AITAH For Taking My Bridesmaid Out Of My Bridal Party?

AITAH For relieving my friend of her bridesmaid duties? I (29F) am getting married this October. I have 3 bridesmaids, and my matron of honor. One of my bridesmaids is unfortunately going through some really touch circumstances- to the extent that she has an open gofundme in place bc she is struggling with her everyday expenses. She is a single mom, student, working two jobs and her vehicle is on its last leg. I am so understanding that I know she wants to be here for me and support me as my bridesmaid, but I do not wish to be a financial burden to her. My mom is paying for her dress, hair and makeup. The one and only expectation I had was that if she accepted this role, she had to find a way to be here.

She lives over 600 miles from me. I’ve given her many opportunities to be let off the hook, so she knows that we are ok no matter what if she cannot afford to be in my wedding. She insists, she will be there. Problem is, she said she’d be at my bridal shower and bachelorette (they’re the same day/weekend) that we’ve been planning for months, and yet she has ignored our group chat for many weeks, has not booked a flight to get here, and cannot afford a ticket for a flight. If she waits any longer, there won’t be a flight. And I know she can’t afford a ticket. Also, my shower is on a Saturday. She just told me she’s going to a concert (she was given a ticket) that Friday night. And still expecting to be here by 2pm the next day, 10 hours away when her car is unreliable. Even if she does come, she can’t afford the few activities I do want my friends and I to do. I’ve been keeping things as inexpensive as I possibly can. I’m also not in a financial position to be able to pay for both myself and her as well. I wish I could, but I truly am barely making this occasion happen as it is. That’s why I need my friend to be honest with me if she can’t afford this. I don’t know how to trust that she’ll make it to my wedding, when she’s letting me down for my shower and bachelorette.

My MOH is ready to call the bridal salon and cancel my friend’s dress and make an appointment for my backup girl, this is so serious. I don’t know what to say to my friend at this point. I’m tired of feeling like a burden to her when all I wanted for us was to be happy. I feel like I’m taking resources away from her and her kids when clearly they’re struggling. AITH if I relieve her of her bridesmaid duties, for her sake?