Mental health during/ post cancer

Hi everyone. I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety (something I’ve struggled with my whole life) a year and a half before I received my official cancer diagnosis- which came as a complete shock- I was 20 at the time and a junior in college. I was diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer located in the ovaries. As many of you can likely relate to, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions, and sometimes it feels like a rollercoaster i can’t get off of.

From the minute I heard my oncologist tell me my diagnosis- I’ve struggled to believe that my body and mind are working for me. Despite surviving a rare form of cancer and being only 24 now- i continue to struggle mentally and feel like since my diagnosis and the two years following that consisted of many, many surgeries and unknowns, i never sought out or received resources for the mental toll i was taking, and since then haven’t recovered mentally.

I don’t know if its due to the timing and my age, college is normally when you’re supposed to figure out what you want to do and who you want to become and i felt like i was robbed of it having to spend the last two years in treatment. I felt so behind and overworked myself to catch up- to get a job, to move states, and I’ve never had a second to pause and process and i feel like it’s all catching up to me now.

I’m curious if anyone relates or experienced the same thing. I read a quote once that send “when your sick, you have one problem, when you’re not sick, you have a billion”.

I think about this often because while I was doing everything i could to push my emotions and my mental health below the surface during my treatment, it’s all catching up to me now that beating cancer and treating it isn’t my main focus in life.

In my experience, getting cancer felt so isolating, even with parents who were with me every step of the way, feeling everything i was feeling, i knew few people would understand what was happening in my mind. I still feel that way, which is hard because then the guilt comes in - how can i be unhappy, anxious and depressed? I should be so happy and grateful to be alive.

The pressure to find purpose and meaning in life has never felt harder. Beyond just venting, I’m curious if anyone felt similar- and if they have any insight into what has helped them beyond traditional therapy.

It all makes me wonder if a lot of people experience this- is there a need for better resources out there for mental support for cancer patients and survivors?