Is it okay to touch graves?

For context, my father has been on the board for ~200 grave cemetery in his hometown my entire life. He used to run a website as his own version of FindAGrave before the concept became popular. My mom has been recording graveyards and maintaining family graves as a hobby for decades, and I used to get taken on walks around local graveyards as a toddler. I've been around graveyards most of my life, but recently my boyfriend pointed out that, from his perspective, I have very bad graveyards etiquette.

My parents were both raised in very rural Hudson Valley small towns with very limited cultural and religious diversity. I was raised with the same beliefs that they were that when you visit a graveyard, you're visiting people and being upbeat or friendly towards memorials is encouraged. This includes:

1. Humming/Singing (nothing overly vulgar)

2. Talking to random gravestone and addressing them by name

3. Brushing, pealing, or rubbing lichen off of gravestones that clearly aren't being regularly maintenances and have clear inscriptions

4. Touching gravestones and inscription of all conditions (gently and within reason)

5. Walking on stone walls that are clearly placed for soil shoring or outer cemetery bounds

6. Taking photos of graves

7. Talking to local wildlife

8. Pulling small dead branches off of the trees along the roads

9. Wandering between graves

You're obviously never to step on graves, but I do have a few photos of me leaning-on/hugging/sitting-on very large obelisks as a young child (this isn't something I would do nowadays).

To be clear, I also would never do these things near a funeral or other people who may be grieving.

I was always taught that visiting souls after they've past and learning about them and lightening their day is what graveyards are for. You're meant to create connections with these souls and remember them by spending time with them and being positive and kind. I was taught that graveyards shouldn't only be solemn.

This came to a head recently when I visited a large, forested graveyard with my boyfriend and while he studied a specific grave, I went off adventuring. I eventaully found a small, old, thigh-height obelisk with destroyed encryptions and a figure carved on top that, to me, looked vaguely like a sulking puppy or lamb laying down. I pet the figure a bit and talked to the grave for a few minutes trying to give the soul a bit of comfort. My boyfriend came over and said that the lamb signaled a child's grave and I shouldn't disturb a child's spirit by touching their monument. I did a bit of research and found that many cultures don't approve of touching graves at all, let alone children's graves. I know that it can sometimes damage monuments, but in my experience this damage is typically minimal compared to natural erosion.

I could tell that my boyfriend thought that my general demeanor around gravesites was somewhat crude. While I'm very agnostic about paranormal and the afterlife, he believes in energies and souls and spirits in a more literal manner, so when he later told me that he sees graveyards as creepy and full of dark spirits, I told him that I'm sure they wouldn't bother him if he brought light with him, because that is my belief on the matter. I don't fully believe in souls, but I fully believe in spreading light and recognition as a way of honouring people's memories. He also tends to only visit graves of those he's researching or mourning directly.

I'm curious what your thoughts and experiences are on the matter!! I want to be respectful of other cultures during my graveyard wanders.