Felt like he (27M) wanted me (25F) to be at my worst?

I’m not sure if this is a super common experience (might be more applicable as an NPD ), but it felt like my pwBPD made an effort to keep me “beneath” him in various ways. I haven't seen anyone else directly mention it on the sub and it's been the subject of my last 2 therapy sessions.

My ex would coincidentally pick fights around upcoming meetings/interviews that could potentially place me on the same (or higher) footing as him salary-wise. He discouraged me from going back to school or pursuing extra work to keep busy, claiming it would be abandonment. When I first mentioned the idea of a fully ONLINE program, he split on me for days and said I clearly didn't care about him if I valued my education more than how he felt about it...

By maybe the second month of our relationship, I started getting horrible acne for the first time in my life. It destroyed my skin and confidence as a whole. He called me “weird” and “dramatic” for wanting to see a dermatologist to address the massive cysts that were cropping up on my forehead and chin. My hair also became dull and dry because I never had time to treat it and he refused to get a shower head filter. He would constantly try to over-feed me and claimed he couldn’t tell I’d gained weight despite me once gaining over 15 pounds in a month. Either he was blind or lying because I stopped fitting into clothes I’d owned for years. I also all but stopped wearing makeup because he would make nasty comments about it, complain about me being high-maintenance, or whine about how I “took forever” to get ready and spoil plans over it. 

Coming out of the relationship my self-esteem was in the gutter. I genuinely felt– and looked –awful. It’s weird because I can look at pictures of myself in previous relationships and see a sort of “glow” that was absent during my time with my ex-pwBPD. 

I want to clarify that all of this felt intentional. He never wanted me to post pictures of myself or go out in general. My theory is that he wanted me to be at my ugliest to soothe any fear of me cheating or leaving him. But that seems bizarre because would that not affect his own attraction to me? I don’t know. He would complain about me “attention seeking” by… existing, I guess. However, when he wore crazy outfits or got eye-catching tattoos and piercings it was just his “style” and not his fault if people approached him. 

Finally, he’d act downright strange if I received a compliment out in public, regardless of if it was from a man or woman. It was like he couldn’t let it go and always had to make it some perverted or awkward implication. For example:

• (Girl) Stranger: I love your makeup!
• Me: Thank you so much!
• PwBPD: Oh wow she wants you so bad.
• Me: She’s just being nice.
• PwBPD: Nah, go talk to your girlfriend. 
• Me: Very funny but I’m with you.
• PwBPD: Aren’t you queer? Is she your type? I bet if you were single you'd fuck her.

It was weird. Like he couldn’t stand the thought– or reality –of me being seen as successful, attractive, likeable, or anything remotely positive. He would accuse me of faking kindness or label my neutrality/calmness as being “manipulative”. 

Does this make sense? I know it’s common for people to lose themselves as a byproduct of the abuse, but has anyone specifically experienced what feels like purposeful put-downs to keep you feeling “grateful” and less-than?