AIO about how my mother treats me?

I (15f) am adhd and have horrific anxiety which combined makes me overstimulated very easily. Overstimulation causes me to be snappy and aggravated. My mother is aware if this as it's the way ive been since i was born and she also has adhd. She always talks about how she will always understand and will do whatever it takes to make sure im comfortable. But it seems to only apply when she wants it to.

I have several examples of this happening but the most extreme time that her control issues have completely messed me up is on my 15th birthday last year. She said i could choose where to stay for my birthday weekend (my birthday was a Friday) and i chose to stay in a city we have been to multiple times, is fairly close to home and i am comfortable in as new places overwhelm me and id rather not be uncomfortable on my birthday weekend. She, instead of listening to me, booked us to stay in a city several hours from where we live, we have never been to before and is a very large city. I was upset about this because she didnt listen to me for my own birthday plans and i was told ' it's for the whole family we cant just do what you want '. When we got to the city i had such an aggressive panic attack that i threw up multiple time and had a migraine. She got angry at me for being sick on ' her trip ' and said i was ruining the weekend for everyone. She forced me to stay the night in the hotel, where i spent most of my night in the bathroom vomiting due to stress. The next day she wouldn't speak to me and we drove home. She didn't speak to me for several days afterwards.

Another example of the way she treats me is how she reacted when i failed my biology exam. I have always had pressure on me to be very acidemic as when both i and my brother were younger we were very acidemically inclined. My brother continued this way throughout his life but i very quickly took a liking to arts and started to not care for things like maths and a science as much. School was very easy for my brother but i struggle a lot due to my sensory issues. I have always tried my best for my parents to be proud of my grades and my dad has always assured me that as long as i try my hardest, he does not care the out come and he supports me fully in my interests. My mother however has never wanted anything more then me to be exactly like my brother. I got a low pass in biology a few weeks ago and she tore me apart. My dad was proud i passed because i didnt believe i was going to (biology isnt my strong suit) but my mother was horrified. I got the lowest pass you can and she went ballistic. She asked me why i was so stupid and how i could possibly be her child because she would have never failed biology. She screamed at me for around 20 minutes before ignoring me for several hours. She then acted like nothing happened and got even more angry when i seemed to be scared of her (which i am).

I would add more examples but I've already written a lot and dont feel anyone would care to read anymore, but i have lots more to say about my mother. I would be happy to add more if others would appreciate it. AIO?