Is it time for a Friendship Ultimatum?

I'm not sure where to begin and apologies in advance if this is rambles. I have a close friend who has really dropped the ball, in my opinion, and now I don't know how to address it. Backstory: I (37F) have always kept a close group of friends, many of which, since childhood. One of these (37M) and I met when we were 12 years old. Let's call him Zach. We grew up together and even when our lives took us to different colleges, experiences, relationships, travels, etc. we always confided and reconnected. If we weren't getting together for a meal or a movie, we'd text or Facebook message to check-in. I met my husband when I was 19 years old. Therefore, Zach has also been friendly/friends with my husband since that age. We're talking a decade of experiences, support, laughter, etc. Zach was always super career focused and only, since COVID began to settle down. I was ecstatic to meet his girlfriend who then became his fiancé. To help paint the picture of our close our relationship was, I officiated their wedding last year. Me. I was ordained and officiated their legally binding marriage. Later, the same here, I co-hosted their baby shower. What's going on: Shortly after their wedding, charges were filed against my husband due to bad business practice of a failed business he ran a few years previous. Zach knew all about that situation then, and we certainly did not hide the charges from Zach or his wife, let's call her Amber. We spent the 8ish months from the charges up until sentencing, spending time with them and giving them updates on how things were going. Long story short, they didn't go well for us and that's a story for another day. The result? My husband is serving ~6months in a work-release program. As my world began to fall about this year in February, I keep reminding myself have certain family members and friends who will be my support through this. Zach, and subsequently Amber, were on that short list.

March and April were two of the worst months of my life after coming off 8 months of pure stress and anxiety. I'll spare you the gory details. Everyone on my short list were there for me: texts, calls, visits, sleepovers, etc. All but Zach or Amber. Right before sentencing, he even messaged me saying, "We are always here for you if you need to vent or just need someone to listen!"

The reality? This hasn't been the case. After not hearing from either them all of March, I messaged Zach saying, "I'm sorry for being MIA during one of this most exciting times in his life, being a new parent. I hope you both are adjusting and taking time to celebrate all the mini milestones." That same evening I went to another friend (one from my close group, 37F, let's call her Jill) Jill's son's soccer games. Jill, Zach, and I have been somewhat the three amigos since childhood. And when she asked if he was supportive I told her what I'm saying now. I added maybe it's because of being a new parent. And she, a mother said, "that's bullshit. I even told him that they need to reach out to you, you need their support." About two days letter, I received a message from Zach, "Once things start to settle down, we’ll all have to get together."

Beyond that, there hasn't been much. I texted Amber "happy Mother's Day" and got a "heart" response. I sent them both a "Happy Anniversary" message with a snippet of their vows I helped them to write.

And now it's July. And I'm heartbroken. My husband will be home in 50 days and my need to protect him and us will only be heightened. I expected fallout from people who don't truly know, love, or support us. But how can I put Zach in that same boat? A 25 year friendship through many of life's challenges and celebrations. The Zach I know in my heart is not the one I have been witness to. Is being a new father a fair excuse? Is it simply he doesn't know what to say?

I feel the urge to reach out to him. And I simply just want to know: do you want to be in my life? Do you not want to be in my life any longer? If it's the former, cool, then let me tell you where my heart hurts. If it's the latter, then fine. I rather know the harsh truth.

If you were me, what would you do?