Does anyone else just feel like they’re always on the verge of a physical confrontation?

I’m not sure why, I haven’t been in that many fights in my life, but every time I go in public I’m like mentally preparing for the possibility.

I’ve taken up boxing in the past and am trying to grow my size to seem more physically intimidating so I never have to fight. But honestly I just want to relax and stop being so tense all the time. Like when I enter a room, I size other guys up and begin to do a risk analysis of what would happen if they got violent.

It’s really hard because I feel like I can’t just enjoy myself with friends when I go somewhere. Is it paranoia or like maybe self esteem issues? I promise I’m not a violent person. Maybe it’s from getting bullied in the past for my sexuality and trying to maintain some sort of control?

I was wondering if other gay bros have a similar experience when they go out.