Feeling like a piece of shit

I had another miscarriage ladies.

First one 6weeks, second one at 8weeks

I failed at pregnancy and I even managed to fail the miscarriage.

A whole week of bleeding, 2 ER visits and lots of misoprostol and still no clue if my uterus is clean.

I am useless at work and leaning on people to cover my butt.

I am wanting to get back into self-destructive habits to cope.