My husband just pissed me off on purpose so I wouldn't be able to sleep.

I'm so fucking tired. I married a competent adult, we've been together for 10+ years and now we have a one year old. Early on in the relationship I knew I was the better person, I would put my needs aside for his, I would go out of my way to do things for him knowing he wouldn't do these things for me, but it is okay, that's just how we are as people. He is still kind and I love him.

He isn't a project, I knew he wasn't going to change and I was okay with those aspects because he was a functioning adult and he was mindful in his own way. We've been great until the baby.

Since the baby this guy has become a complete arsehole. I don't think he realised how hard it would be to look after a baby. I thought after a while he'd just get with the program but he hasn't and it frustrates the shit out of me. I think he does some things on purpose because he doesn't want to do them and sometimes I think he genuinely forgets but like you're looking after a small child, you need to feed it.

Anyways he hasn't helped me with the baby during the night since the baby was 6 weeks, so more than a year now, I have been sleep deprived, basically on call all the time. I have to get up and take care of the baby all day until my husband comes home from work. I have gone back to work part-time too for the last 4 months and although I enjoy the new routine I am pretty fucked because I don't sleep well. I've been taking days off work sick and just eating into my leave. On the weekends, or my husband's days off, I expect him to take care of the baby in the morning so I can get a bit of sleep.

I get up and change the baby and hand him to my husband ready to go. He always complains or makes some stupid comment, I generally ignore him, but this morning my husband chooses to have a fight with me. This guy knows full well I won't be able to get back to sleep because I am so angry. Unlike him who can also fall asleep instantly, I cannot, I need a bit of time to relax, turn off my brain and then fall asleep. Especially when I am already awake because this dickhead sometimes forgets to change our son in the morning, thus why I've been getting up and doing it for him.

I love my husband but I can do baby or adult baby, but not both. The thing is, he does do these things and more, that's why I reckon he is doing on purpose so I don't get to sleep in the morning.

He does basic cleaning, he cooks and does laundry. These are all great, but because the bar is so low he wants a medal each time and before I could give him that attention and praise him but now I just want to throw things at him. He acts like he is carrying the house load on his shoulders because he feels like he is doing everything. I don't even engage with him because that is so ridiculous and I'm scared I'll actually snap and throw something at him or say something I don't really mean.

I'm so very tired, I've been sick for months and I just want my husband to step up and say, babe, I got this, you go sleep, take as long as you like. And then when I do wake up, I don't want to worry that he hasn't fed the baby or changed his nappy if needed, and if the baby poured water on his clothes that he would change him into dry clothes. Like just basic fucking sense stuff. Not oh I just forgot or I thought I'd wait for you.

Anyways I just needed to get all that out. I'm not looking for anything, I just needed to vent.