Venting: is this the right choice? Is this post my imposter sindrome speaking? And how did you feel when you started?

[it's gonna be long]

Uhm, I don't know where to start from, I'm jumping into this world blindfolded. I'm turning 26 next month,I feel old, decaying almost: currently studying fine arts, graduating in printmaking and last year I decided to start studying cinema. Here in Italy fine arts schools work in a certain way that I'm not gonna explain rn, the system seems too difficult to explain at midnight, but to summarize, I'm getting my bachelor in printmaking and moving onto cinema next year (hopefully) and I'm scared, I feel like I've got a certain artistic language that could work only if I start actively working with videomaking essentially, but this shit is terrifying.

I love cinema, I don't know if it's THE working environment in which I'll be living in in the future, but I know that it is a language I want to be fluent in.

The main professor of the course is a phenomenal man, literally couldn't ask for a better person to direct the entire thing, he's made a few documentaries and I feel like you can see it in the way he approaches the world, his ethics, his way of being. I rely on him, a lot, he's helped me quite a bit when my I've lost my father this year, he probably has no idea, but his sole presence felt helpful, his classes, the way he listened to every single word I told him, he's a wonderful person truly and,,, I'm afraid of disappointing him.

I'm afraid of everything: I'm scared because I don't have the money to pursue this field, I'm scared because I don't know WHICH career I want to do in this field, scared because I feel as if I don't make something phenomenal I'll disappoint a person that is very dear to my heart, I'm scared of disappoint myself, my family, I'm scared to discover that I'm not capable of doing anything worth creating.

What if I make something I hate deeply? What if I fail?

I feel like any of this questions could be valid for anything in life really, and I feel like the answers are already written, if you hate it you'll start again, if you fail, you'll try again, it's redundant but I had to write them down because I've been feeling as if my brain was starting to rot on his own with its own confusion. I wish I was a prodigy, I wish I made my first short at 14 and shocked the world with my innate talent, but I'm average and sometimes it feels like carrying a heavy burden.

So my question to you is not technical, not properly made for this subreddit probably, but rather: how did you feel when you jumped into filmmaking professionally/academically? And, how do you feel now?