I opened up to my friend and he blocked me

TW - Depression and Suicide This is a very long one, I tried to put in a lot of detail to make sure I am not supporting a bias. I’m sorry about that

Okay, so I know the title sounds very bad, I want to share my experience and what I think. I am almost 16, I know I am young but I’ve been on the worse side of PCOS, with weight gain and hirsutism. One night, I felt very low about my self esteem and life and I trusted my friend, and told him about it. My friend older than me, he’s 17, but is in the same grade as me (not school), and very much gay. I’ll call him “Sam”. Me and Sam have been friends since 2022, and took a 11 month break from August 2023 to July 2024. (I initiated the friendship again in 2024). I had very bad mental health back in 2023 and I genuinely had to stop being friends with Sam for myself because of a bad situation regarding him. But I did get over it, and felt comfortable being Sam’s friend again, because I missed him, and knew he regretted his choices. Now, we obviously haven’t always had the best friendship, but I thought we were in a good place for the past few months. So I opened up to Sam about my PCOS, which I have barely told anyone about, after getting diagnosed in October 2024. He comforted me and gave me suggestions while I answered most of his questions. The next day, he was nice, asked if I was alright from last night and made it seem like it was okay. However, later that same day, he blocked me. Like blocked me on every social media, with no written explanation. I was very much confused, so I asked my friend, who was in the same friend group with us, to talk to him and find out the reason. He said to not tell me, but that he wanted to drop me for a while, and how I expected too much from him. He sent her screenshots of what I said. I wish I could tell you everything he told my friend, but I don’t have any screenshots, sorry about that. Keep in mind, this was honestly the first time I opened up to Sam like this, about my suicidal thoughts, about PCOS, as I usually text my best friend during low moments, but couldn’t because of another situation. Now, the bad part about this, is that I told Sam so much about my life. I am genuinely terrified he’s going to tell people, people I no longer speak to, people he does speak to. Two of my ex friends, “Rebecca” and another guy, that he’s still friends with, blocked me on everything too. (Rebecca and I never blocked eachother because we both mutually had valid reasoning about stopping being friends, the friendship didn’t end off that harsh, other than the fact I found out Rebecca was screen-sharing our conversation, that I was trying to get personal in, with my other ex friend and Sam. the other guy just took her side, but I never argued or talked to him about it and wasn’t as close, so no hard feelings.) I know I can’t do anything about it. I can’t stop Sam from doing anything. But I’m so scared of it. Because I know it’s possible. He was okay with Rebecca showing him our messages. He even helped her write stuff. I don’t want to believe he’d show what I told him to Rebecca, but I know he would. I feel exposed. I feel naked. I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone. I don’t understand why he had to do this at such a low point in my life. I’ve been depressed and suicidal for more than 3 years now. I’ve also had anxiety for as long as I can imagine. And he’s well aware. But it was never as bad as this last week. Sam knew that. I assured him during all of that, that it wasn’t his fault and I understood that even though I might think he doesn’t care about me, he has his own stuff going on and I would never blame him over any suicidal thoughts, or even attempting suicide. I was never mad at him during this. I was happy he was listening. I wanted to let him know that it’s not his fault, and that if i ever tried giving up to not blame himself. I also told him that I was not planning on doing anything permanent that night, and just wanted to talk to someone. He told me he cared about me after I told him how I felt as if no one did. I don’t believe in that anymore. I’ve never felt so alone. Now, I don’t think i’m the type of person to completely ignore the other side due to bias. I understand if he was unhappy in the friendship. I know it’s a lot to handle, being friends with someone that is depressed. It’s the fact he did it with no warning. He made me feel like we were going to be bestfriends forever just the night before. He also had like the worst timing ever. I had no idea he felt that way, and I wish he told me before all of this. The past few days, after this, I’ve been feeling even worse. I’ve been crying all day and eating almost nothing due to nausea and loss of appetite. I know all of this doesn’t have much do to with PCOS, I just wanted to talk about it to someone, because I am so afraid of my future. Thank you for listening.